Tuesday, December 13, 2005

So much drama in the NBA

I keep forgetting whether I capitalize all the words in my headers or not, then I'm too lazy to go back and look. I apologize in advance for any inconsistencies. My bad.

So yeah, crazy week already and it's only Tuesday. Ron-Ron demands a trade, saying among other things that he's become too much of a distraction, he doesn't feel like he gets enough touches in the offense, and he would love to play in New York. Larry Bird, Rick Carlisle and Jermaine O'Neal must have all been thrilled. And in unrelated news, a Van Gundy is out and it isn't Jeff. Nope, the Hedgehog is out and Riles is back in down on South Beach. Stan Van officially quit, but then again so did Lenny Wilkens.

We'll start with Mr. Artest, who seems to have simultaneously stabbed his coach in the back and pushed his teammates under a bus. For starters, there's no way the Pacers get equal value for Artest anymore, if that was even a possibility before. I'm sure right now Isiah Thomas is eagerly figuring out how to give up Quentin Richardson or Malik Rose, and Donnie Walsh is reading Chris Sheridan's Insider column on ESPN.com about potential deals that would work with all 29 other teams and cursing himself for not dealing the Tru Warier this summer. Meanwhile Jermaine O'Neal is using the Mafia "he's dead to me" approach in interviews, and the Pacers title chances are looking about as bright as their having a 70-degree Christmas in Indianapolis.

As for the distraction/new start/past haunting him in Indy/starting fresh somewhere else stuff, I'd just like to say this: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Because you know, no one outside of Indianapolis saw the footage of the brawl or anything. Ron, the only way to get a fresh start would be to go work at Circuit City, or maybe get traded to a team in a remote Siberian village with no TV, although it's unlikely they'd have anything the Pacers would want. (Vodka? Fur hats?) No, Ron, you leap over the scorer's table into the stands to beat the shit out of some fan, people are going to remember that everywhere.

And then you want to be a bigger part of the offense, too. Which is understandable, given that you were scoring at a 25 ppg clip before you got suspended. We know you can score. But to say that every time you get the ball you feel it's a mismatch and you should be getting more plays run for you? Hey Ron, guess what, that's how EVERYBODY in the NBA feels, with the possible exceptions of Calvin Booth and Michael Olowokandi. The difference is that they don't go to the media and blow up their coach about it. Although hey, if what you really wanted was a trade, you probably did exactly the right thing. Just don't be surprised if they send you somewhere other than your first choice.

Let's talk about that first choice for a minute, shall we? New York. The place you grew up. Sure, there won't be any distractions there, right? It's not like the tabloid reporters won't be getting into fistfights to cover you or anything. And it's not like the New York press has a history of exagerrating and exacerbating (shout out to Clyde Frazier!) things or anything. Besides, playing at home's worked out so well for Stephon Marbury so far.

And Larry Brown, yeah, he should be much more willing to tear down what he's been working on to give you more touches in the offense. Fuck that Channing Frye kid, he's just a rookie, right? He can get shots some other year. And Steph'll totally understand, too.

Most of all, though, why would you so badly want to come to a franchise that passed on you in the draft for FRED WEIS? Not only a white stiff center, but a FRENCH white stiff center? One that didn't play a second in the League. That doesn't still sting a little?

The Pacers did all the right things, standing by you when it seemed like the whole world was against you. Now you humiliate them, in the worst possible way and at a horrible time (why not have quietly relayed your concerns to Carlisle, Walsh and Bird in the offseason?). Your past is haunting you now? It's just getting started.

Dammit, gotta run out. Riles v. Van Gundy tomorrow.


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Mpinga said...

You in trouble russ,the merchants seem to be attracted to your writing.Maybe you should look into formulating a weight loss diet of your own to sell.
On the real tho,I think Donnie Walsh is in on this with Ron.Think about it,the Pacers stuck with Ron after the melee @ the palace and what better time for Donnie to turn in the favour.
Okay I admit I'm bullshitting but not as much as the Tru Warrier himself.

Russ said...

I think I'm finally accepting the fact that Ron Artest is completely out of his mind. Hell of a player, though.

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