1. Josh Childress

Goodbye, NBA
The Greek isles are waiting
Restricted no more

2. Stephon Marbury

Passion unbridled
Not always a good idea
What are you on, dude?

3. Al Jefferson

Big man in Minny
A double-double a day
A beast on the blocks

4. Rasheed Wallace

Twenty-three foot nine
Your desired position
A true outsider

5. Dwight Howard

Hey, son of Jor-El
Shaq was Superman first, dude
You’re not quite there yet

6. Andris Biedrins

Fifty or sixty?
Your new guaranteed contract
Buys lots of hair gel

7. Luol Deng

Small forward, big plans
The future isn’t waiting
Do something now, please

8. Baron Davis

Despite what they say
You are going home again
Oh yeah, Elton left

9. LeBron James

Billionaire athlete?
Too bad Tiger will be first
How much does Jay have?

10. Elton Brand

Opted to opt out
Philadelphia freedom
Sterling maneuver

11. Dwyane Wade

Fall down seven times
Miss the rest of the season
Maybe work on that

12. Manu Ginobili

Tremendous passion
Undeniable talent
Floppiest flopper

13. Derrick Rose

You went number one
Chicago’s newest savior
Better not fuck up

14. Shawn Marion

Got out of Phoenix
Max contract, All-Star, winning
Who cares about that?

REPLACEMENT 16

As one of my astute readers (or perhaps my one reader, who happens to be astute—Ryan doesn't count) pointed out, I posted my Caron Butler haiku twice, at 16 and 25. I suppose I could claim that Butler is so good that he deserves two spots on my definitive All-Haiku NBA Top 50 List™, but that would be a total lie. So I owe you, my faithful reader(s) a replacement poem. Which I shall write right NOW.

Here's the thing, though. I will not put a name with this haiku. It will be up to you, dear reader(s), to guess the subject. It will probably be either super-easy or completely impossible. First, though, I should refer to the list so I don't make the same mistake twice. Sigh.


Blocks and dunks? Simple.
The rest of the game, not yet.
Great expectations.

(I was actually thinking of two different guys when I wrote this, but it fits one better than the other. Not sure whether it's super-easy or completely impossible, although I expect the guy I wasn't really thinking of to be named before the guy I was really thinking of. If that makes any sense.)

15. Chris Paul

Best since Isiah?
Scorer who runs the offense
Scared of nobody

16. Caron Butler

Serving of Tough Juice
Ain’t never from concentrate
Fresh for you daily

17. Darko Milicic

How many chances?
When does potential come true?
Possibly never

18. Greg Oden

Wise beyond his years
You have to wonder if he’s
As old as he looks

19. Kevin Garnett

Intense beyond words
Team defense and primal screams
Powerful message