Just home in time to catch the fourth quarter of Wizards/Pacers. The Pacers are kicking the crap out of the Wizards on a snowy night in Indianapolis. Marv and Steve Kerr are gonna have a lot of time to kill tonight. And maybe Etan Thomas can write a poem about it. Pacers up 20, under 10 minutes to go.
The most amazing thing about the Pacers, to me, is how many minutes Anthony Johnson plays. I mean, dude was a career backup, and now he's the main point guard for one of the best teams in the League? How did this happen? He even dunked on someone the other night. I'm sure Jamaal Tinsley is probably more confused than I am, but still.
At this point, Stephen Jackson has 30 and the Pacers are up 20-plus still. It's too bad there aren't any other games on right now, because it would definitely be a good time to switch to one. The second of this doubleheader had better be better. What's amazing is that the Pacers did this without Tinsley and Ron Artest, who tragically has let his hair grow back in.At least Andray Blatche is getting minutes.
Although Rockets/Kings? Yeesh.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Retired Redux
Upon further inspection of the Celtics retired numbers, it's interesting to note that the entire run of 14-25 is in the rafters, with the sole exception of 20. There have been 22 number 20s in the Celtics history—along with number 11, it's the most-worn C's number. The current number 20, backup point guard Dan Dickau, is unlikely to wind up hanging with Larry Legend, McHale and the Chief. (It also doesn't bode well for Disaster that the last eight No. 20s only lasted year apiece in Boston.) I present to you the Celtic 20s. They are:
Al Lucas 1948-49
Dick Hemric 1955-57
Lou Tsioropoulos 1956-59 (also wore No. 29)
Gene Guarilia 1959-63
Larry Siegfried 1963-70
Rex Morgan 1970-72
Phil Hankinson 1973-75
Fred Saunders 1976-78
Wayne Kreklow 1980-81
Scott Wedman 1982-83 (also wore No. 8)
Ray Williams 1984-85
Darren Daye 1986-88
Brian Shaw 1988-89 & 1990-92
Sherman Douglas 1991-96 (also wore No. 4)
Tyus Edney 1997-98
Marlon Garnett 1998-99
Doug Overton 1999-00 (also wore No. 9)
Bryant Stith 2000-01
Erick Strickland 2001-02
Jumaine Jones 2003-04
Gary Payton 2004-05
Dan Dickau 2005-present
Al Lucas 1948-49
Dick Hemric 1955-57
Lou Tsioropoulos 1956-59 (also wore No. 29)
Gene Guarilia 1959-63
Larry Siegfried 1963-70
Rex Morgan 1970-72
Phil Hankinson 1973-75
Fred Saunders 1976-78
Wayne Kreklow 1980-81
Scott Wedman 1982-83 (also wore No. 8)
Ray Williams 1984-85
Darren Daye 1986-88
Brian Shaw 1988-89 & 1990-92
Sherman Douglas 1991-96 (also wore No. 4)
Tyus Edney 1997-98
Marlon Garnett 1998-99
Doug Overton 1999-00 (also wore No. 9)
Bryant Stith 2000-01
Erick Strickland 2001-02
Jumaine Jones 2003-04
Gary Payton 2004-05
Dan Dickau 2005-present
Q and...Q?
So, word today is that the Knicks want to bring in Qyntel Woods to fill their hole at small forward. Qyntel Woods? THE Qyntel Woods? Forget for the moment that—in a decidedly questionable move—we at SLAM proclaimed Qyntel to be the rookie of the year before he played a single NBA minute, and remember that this is a guy who got in trouble for mistreating dogs in Portland, and is being paid $400,000 by the Celtics this year to NOT play for them. Last I checked, the Celtics weren't exactly running away with the East.
Nothing against Qyntel personally—I've never even met the dude—but does he really sound like a Larry Brown guy? I mean, the TRAILBLAZERS waived him, and they keep a guy like Ruben Patterson around? I understand that Patterson has a lot more money due him than Qyntel did, but Ruben also—despite being absolutely insane—plays some tough D and is super competitive. Well, maybe a little too much. And let's not forget Mighty Mouse, Damon Stoudamire, like Popeye, a superhero who relied on the green stuff. Or Darius Miles, who only got suspended for cursing out then-coach Mo Cheeks. The Blazers then later fired Cheeks. Not exactly an overly strict franchise. Of course, Qyntel was actually convicted of a crime, while the others skirted the long arm of the law.
Vague rumor has it that the Knicks released Matt Barnes, who'd actually been their starting small forward for five games, because he was a loner in the locker room and that went contrary to Brown's desired family atmosphere. How's Qyntel going to fit in? Kid from the deep South, already been on three NBA teams, convicted of animal abuse. Yeah, he'll be a favorite for sure. Don't get me wrong, I believe in second chances, I just don't know whether this particular one is a good idea.
Nothing against Qyntel personally—I've never even met the dude—but does he really sound like a Larry Brown guy? I mean, the TRAILBLAZERS waived him, and they keep a guy like Ruben Patterson around? I understand that Patterson has a lot more money due him than Qyntel did, but Ruben also—despite being absolutely insane—plays some tough D and is super competitive. Well, maybe a little too much. And let's not forget Mighty Mouse, Damon Stoudamire, like Popeye, a superhero who relied on the green stuff. Or Darius Miles, who only got suspended for cursing out then-coach Mo Cheeks. The Blazers then later fired Cheeks. Not exactly an overly strict franchise. Of course, Qyntel was actually convicted of a crime, while the others skirted the long arm of the law.
Vague rumor has it that the Knicks released Matt Barnes, who'd actually been their starting small forward for five games, because he was a loner in the locker room and that went contrary to Brown's desired family atmosphere. How's Qyntel going to fit in? Kid from the deep South, already been on three NBA teams, convicted of animal abuse. Yeah, he'll be a favorite for sure. Don't get me wrong, I believe in second chances, I just don't know whether this particular one is a good idea.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Retired
The Boston Celtics have existed since 1946. In that time, they've retired 21 numbers, from 1 (for original owner Walter Brown) to 00 (for ageless center Robert Parish). Assuming that numbers are used in their normal fashion, there are 101 possible combinations of jersey numbers: 0-99 and 00. And assuming that the Celtics continue to retire numbers at their current pace, they'll be entirely out of them sometime during the 2229-'30 season. Assuming (and it's a big assumption) my math is correct. So Boston, please, stop the madness before it's too late. Don't make our grandchildren have to root for numbers 1.4 and -6.
The Good, The Bad, And The Obvious
I've never been a beatwriter. Never really wanted to be, especially after closely watching the New York/New Jersey guys so often left with no choice other than to make something out of nothing. Gotta feed the beast. And today's Houston Chronicle bore a perfect example of that, in a story headlined "Rockets Changes Coming." Hm, really? You think? They're 4-12, dead last in the West, and just lost a game in which they trailed by 20-plus at the end of the first quarter (the first time they'd ever done that in team history). Change? Can't imagine why.
Nothing against Jonathan Feigen, who I think does a great job on the Rockets beat, but this is news? A team that was expected to be second to only the Spurs in the West comes out of the gate—well, falls out of the gate—and the fact that changes are coming needs to be reported? "Changes Not Coming" would be a headline. "Changes Coming" isn't news. Especially since no details are given (as usual, Jeff Van Grumpy is playing things close to the vest).
I don't know about Van Gundy. Had doubts about him ever since he was with the Knicks—the only reason he took them to the '99 Finals was a mind-blowingly lucky Allan Houston shot, and Patrick Ewing's injury (which forced him to finally play Marcus Camby, who, teamed with Latrell Sprewell finally brought some excitement to the Knicks offense). Now he has a Rockets team with no identity, a superstar with injury issues, and a center whose fame exceeds his talents. Or at least his desire. Yao Ming needs to be MEAN to succeed (and succeed Shaq as the best center in the L), and it just seems like he doesn't have it in him. Ironically, with Shaq injured, the best center in the L has been the aforementioned Mr. Camby, who racked up a 30/20 the other night. And the second-best is probably Alonzo Mourning, whose leg Van Gundy famously humped in the infamous Zo/LJ brawl. Another funny thing is that Vin Baker, Charlie Ward and Clarence Weatherspoon all remain on the Rockets payroll, despite the fact that all three are out of the League. Seems like Jeff is still working for the Knicks.
The Rockets can still come out of this and make the playoffs (maybe), but it'll certainly be an uphill battle. And that, that will be a story.
*********
Want to know how bad the Atlantic is, compared to how competitive the Central is? The Bulls are in last in the Central at 8-7. The Sixers lead the Atlantic at 8-10. If the playoffs started today (I hate that phrase, but I had to do it), the entire Central would be in.
Nothing against Jonathan Feigen, who I think does a great job on the Rockets beat, but this is news? A team that was expected to be second to only the Spurs in the West comes out of the gate—well, falls out of the gate—and the fact that changes are coming needs to be reported? "Changes Not Coming" would be a headline. "Changes Coming" isn't news. Especially since no details are given (as usual, Jeff Van Grumpy is playing things close to the vest).
I don't know about Van Gundy. Had doubts about him ever since he was with the Knicks—the only reason he took them to the '99 Finals was a mind-blowingly lucky Allan Houston shot, and Patrick Ewing's injury (which forced him to finally play Marcus Camby, who, teamed with Latrell Sprewell finally brought some excitement to the Knicks offense). Now he has a Rockets team with no identity, a superstar with injury issues, and a center whose fame exceeds his talents. Or at least his desire. Yao Ming needs to be MEAN to succeed (and succeed Shaq as the best center in the L), and it just seems like he doesn't have it in him. Ironically, with Shaq injured, the best center in the L has been the aforementioned Mr. Camby, who racked up a 30/20 the other night. And the second-best is probably Alonzo Mourning, whose leg Van Gundy famously humped in the infamous Zo/LJ brawl. Another funny thing is that Vin Baker, Charlie Ward and Clarence Weatherspoon all remain on the Rockets payroll, despite the fact that all three are out of the League. Seems like Jeff is still working for the Knicks.
The Rockets can still come out of this and make the playoffs (maybe), but it'll certainly be an uphill battle. And that, that will be a story.
*********
Want to know how bad the Atlantic is, compared to how competitive the Central is? The Bulls are in last in the Central at 8-7. The Sixers lead the Atlantic at 8-10. If the playoffs started today (I hate that phrase, but I had to do it), the entire Central would be in.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Knickelback
Took in the Knicks/Celtics at the Garden today. It was a 1 p.m. start, which means it's a bacon game—as in the media dining is breakfast. Mostly fatal products, including undercooked, greasy bacon, sausage links, scrambled eggs, pancakes and donuts. No wonder so many sportswriters are fat.
Sat next to New York 1's Tom McDonald in the Gate 64 pressbox, and at the end of the game (a three-point Knicks loss, dropping them to 5-11 overall), he brought up a good point. If the Knicks head coach were someone other than Larry Brown, wouldn't the media be screaming for his head? One could also question the moves of GM Isiah Thomas, but for now let's stick with Brown.
He hasn't exactly looked like a genius. In fact, one could certainly assume that Herb Williams would have the Knicks at 5-11 or better right now. Don Chaney, too. Meanwhile, Brown uses substitution patterns that make no sense (including today's benching of November Rookie of the Month Channing Frye after he'd been introduced as a starter), using 10 different players in the first quarter alone. Malik Rose, stuck to the bench for the entire game, came in for the first time with 10 minutes to go in the fourth. And Maurice Taylor didn't get off the bench at all. Stranger still was the notice in the press room that Matt Barnes had been released. Barnes, you'll remember, made the team as a training camp invitee, and was the STARTING SMALL FORWARD on opening night. Figure that one out.
Brown's teams have historically had slow starts, and this Knicks squad is a particularly young group. Which is another issue—why Brown even took the job in the first place. This is a very un-LB team. Lots of rookies, score-first guards, no blue-collar defense-first guys. Their best rebounder is shooting guard Quentin Richardson. While the Knicks may have been Brown's dream job, this roster was probably his nightmare. It's like when Jason Newsted joined Metallica then discovered that they weren't all that interested in playing heavy metal anymore.
But Brown did take the job, and the expectations that came with it. He's got a good crop of rookies—Isiah can draft real well, it's just too bad he builds the rest of the roster like a kid with dad's AmEx Titanium card—and centers who are roughly center-shaped, but not much else. The playoffs are a possibility, but one that's shrinking with every passing loss. Maybe LB should have simply kept dreaming.
***
Random thought while discussing Kobe with ESPN mag writer Chris Broussard—is it just me, or is he trying to live Michael Jordan's career backwards? First he got the rings in the triangle while still getting his numbers, and now he's shooting 40 times a game on a bad team. Maybe Phil Jackson needs to give him a copy of The Last Season.
Sat next to New York 1's Tom McDonald in the Gate 64 pressbox, and at the end of the game (a three-point Knicks loss, dropping them to 5-11 overall), he brought up a good point. If the Knicks head coach were someone other than Larry Brown, wouldn't the media be screaming for his head? One could also question the moves of GM Isiah Thomas, but for now let's stick with Brown.
He hasn't exactly looked like a genius. In fact, one could certainly assume that Herb Williams would have the Knicks at 5-11 or better right now. Don Chaney, too. Meanwhile, Brown uses substitution patterns that make no sense (including today's benching of November Rookie of the Month Channing Frye after he'd been introduced as a starter), using 10 different players in the first quarter alone. Malik Rose, stuck to the bench for the entire game, came in for the first time with 10 minutes to go in the fourth. And Maurice Taylor didn't get off the bench at all. Stranger still was the notice in the press room that Matt Barnes had been released. Barnes, you'll remember, made the team as a training camp invitee, and was the STARTING SMALL FORWARD on opening night. Figure that one out.
Brown's teams have historically had slow starts, and this Knicks squad is a particularly young group. Which is another issue—why Brown even took the job in the first place. This is a very un-LB team. Lots of rookies, score-first guards, no blue-collar defense-first guys. Their best rebounder is shooting guard Quentin Richardson. While the Knicks may have been Brown's dream job, this roster was probably his nightmare. It's like when Jason Newsted joined Metallica then discovered that they weren't all that interested in playing heavy metal anymore.
But Brown did take the job, and the expectations that came with it. He's got a good crop of rookies—Isiah can draft real well, it's just too bad he builds the rest of the roster like a kid with dad's AmEx Titanium card—and centers who are roughly center-shaped, but not much else. The playoffs are a possibility, but one that's shrinking with every passing loss. Maybe LB should have simply kept dreaming.
***
Random thought while discussing Kobe with ESPN mag writer Chris Broussard—is it just me, or is he trying to live Michael Jordan's career backwards? First he got the rings in the triangle while still getting his numbers, and now he's shooting 40 times a game on a bad team. Maybe Phil Jackson needs to give him a copy of The Last Season.
Friday, December 02, 2005
ABC through the L (Part 2)
OK, where was I?
MILWAUKEE BUCKS. Did anyone do more to improve their team over the summer than the Bucks? They grab Utah center Andrew Bogut with the first overall pick in the draft, sign the L's Most Improved Player in swingman Bobby Simmons, and then trade athletic yet expendable Desmond Mason for All-Star center Jamal Magloire. Not bad. Of course, the biggest gain of all was the return of one of their own—point guard T.J. Ford—from spinal surgery. He still makes banzai charges into the lane, disrupting defenses like no guard in the League with the exception of AI. And with targets like Magloire inside and Michael Redd outside, even Terry Stotts looks like a genius.
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES. Whither KG? Will he get traded? Will the Wolves rebuild around him? Playing his first full NBA season without coach Flip Saunders, Garnett looks overworked and generally downcast, an unnatural look for the Big Ticket. It doesn't help that Marko Jaric, brought in for malcontent Sam Cassell, has been uninspiring while Cassell has lifted the Clippers. Add in perennial underachiever Michael Olowokandi and you can imagine that Garnett may even miss Latrell Sprewell some days. At least Troy Hudson continues to pull his weight.
NEW JERSEY NETS. The popular thought is that they're a three-man team—Jason Kidd, Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson—and while they might be the class of the Atlantic, that isn't saying much. While Kidd, Carter and RJ are definitely the stars, let's not forget big man Nenad Krstic, who is the first Net big with a pulse in quite some time. You also can't help but like a team that brings Uncle Cliffy off the bench (Troy Murphy told me a couple weeks ago that Cliff hands-down had the best cars on the Warriors, so there is that). Not to mention Jeff McInnis and Marc Jackson.
NEW ORLEANS/OKLAHOMA CITY HORNETS. It's amazing how much better the arrival of rookie point guard Chris Paul has made them. The leading candidate for the Rookie Of The Year (although the next entry has a good one, too), Paul already leads the team like a seasoned vet. And speaking of seasoned vets, P.J. Brown is still doing his thing at 36. Other than that, a lot of Euros and youngsters (and young Euros) that will take a while to gel. When they do, Byron Scott will be standing there. With his arms crossed.
NEW YORK KNICKS, An enigma wrapped in a mystery stashed inside Larry Brown's head. He hasn't snapped and killed anyone yet, which is a plus, as is the fact that he's already shown a tremendous amount of faith in his three rookies. One, Channing Frye, was named rookie of the month for November, which must have Darko Milicic looking through the Soldier Of Fortune classifieds. They still don't have a starting small forward, and the rotation is more like an octahedron, but it's starting to look like things are headed in the right direction. Maybe.
ORLANDO MAGIC. Apparently, according to local reports, Jameer Nelson has proclaimed himself the driver of Dwight Howard's bandwagon and pronounced the two inseparable, which, given Howard's promise and youth is probably a good move on Jameer's part. Steve Francis—well, you just don't hear about him as much as you did in the Houston days. And the fact that Brian Hill is back as coach is just weird. He should trade for Penny Hardaway and then cut him just out of spite.
PHILADELPHIA 76ERS. I don't even understand how Allen Iverson is doing it at this point. Ninth year in the League, ninth year of getting the crap kicked out of him every damn night, and he's playing better than ever. Maybe it's the return of the prodigal Mo Cheeks, maybe Chris Webber is the sidekick he's always needed, maybe it's Kyle Korver's hair. Whatever it is, it's working. These guys could win the Atlantic as well, but then again, so could Jersey, New York or Boston.
PHOENIX SUNS. Losing Amare Stoudemire with the most terrifying surgery possible (at least for a basketball player's knee) has got to be slightly alarming. And then trading both Quentin Richardson AND Joe Johnson may have been a bit extreme. Did D'Antoni just want this season to be more of a challenge? But the Suns still have Steve Nash, MVP, and so far all he's done is shoot the lights out and make Boris Diaw look like a basketball player. Wonder how Kurt Thomas is enjoying all the running?
PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS. Yep, these are the Trailblazers. Ruben Patterson demanding 25 minutes a night or he won't play at all? Ruben, even Terrell Owens thinks you're crazy. And I don't care how good he is, when this contract is up, he might as well move into a house with Latrell Sprewell, or buy into Vin Baker's restaurant. I'd say he wasn't exactly putting his Cincinnati education to good use, but it's not like he got one. Also, having $130 million tied up in Zach Randolph and Darius Miles doesn't seem that smart, especially when you bring in a disciplinarian coach to deal with slacker players. At least Sebastian Telfair looks good. And, inexplicably, Ghostface Przybilla.
SACRAMENTO KINGS. One could argue that it wasn't in Mike Bibby's best interest to spend his summer trying to turn himself into a middle linebacker. Didn't work too good for the Kings, either. Meanwhile, they're also discovering that the bloom is off the Rosejakovic. Peja has been injury-saddled, and ridden hard and put away wet by new acquisition Bonzi Wells on account of it. Meanwhile, Shareef Abdur-Rahim just looks sad. This may be the end of the Adelman era.
SAN ANTONIO SPURS. I give up—they're going to defend their title this year. Happy?
SEATTLE SUPERSONICS. I really have no idea. Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis can shoot, Vlad Radmanovic can complain (maybe put him in with Spree and the Nanny Stopper), Danny Fortson and Reggie Evans can break things. They get extra credit for giving Rick Brunson a real deal, and for keeping Robert Swift around to sweep up or whatever it is he does. It's unfortunate they lost Nate McMillan to their cross-uh, states, rivals, but if Nate was so loyal to the Sonics, the money shouldn't have been the deciding factor, right?
TORONTO RAPTORS. Well, you were right about Charlie Villanueva. He can play. And you're still 1-15. Good job.
UTAH JAZZ. Deron Williams looks good, although not as good as Chris Paul. Carlos Boozer has been a pretty useless signing, seeing that Mehmet Okur has been much better (and actually playing). Hell, even the return of the prodigal Ostertag has been better than the Booze. Then again, as long as they have Andrei "Do Everything" Kirilenko and Jerry Sloan, they should be OK.
WASHINGTON WIZARDS. Getting rid of Kwame Brown is the best example of addition by subtraction I can think of in recent years. Caron Butler makes up for the loss of Larry Hughes, and Gilbert Arenas remains out of his mind in every sense of the phrase. It would be nice if they'd change their name back to the Bullets, but then Etan Thomas would probably have to write a poem about it and we'd all be sorry.
MILWAUKEE BUCKS. Did anyone do more to improve their team over the summer than the Bucks? They grab Utah center Andrew Bogut with the first overall pick in the draft, sign the L's Most Improved Player in swingman Bobby Simmons, and then trade athletic yet expendable Desmond Mason for All-Star center Jamal Magloire. Not bad. Of course, the biggest gain of all was the return of one of their own—point guard T.J. Ford—from spinal surgery. He still makes banzai charges into the lane, disrupting defenses like no guard in the League with the exception of AI. And with targets like Magloire inside and Michael Redd outside, even Terry Stotts looks like a genius.
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES. Whither KG? Will he get traded? Will the Wolves rebuild around him? Playing his first full NBA season without coach Flip Saunders, Garnett looks overworked and generally downcast, an unnatural look for the Big Ticket. It doesn't help that Marko Jaric, brought in for malcontent Sam Cassell, has been uninspiring while Cassell has lifted the Clippers. Add in perennial underachiever Michael Olowokandi and you can imagine that Garnett may even miss Latrell Sprewell some days. At least Troy Hudson continues to pull his weight.
NEW JERSEY NETS. The popular thought is that they're a three-man team—Jason Kidd, Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson—and while they might be the class of the Atlantic, that isn't saying much. While Kidd, Carter and RJ are definitely the stars, let's not forget big man Nenad Krstic, who is the first Net big with a pulse in quite some time. You also can't help but like a team that brings Uncle Cliffy off the bench (Troy Murphy told me a couple weeks ago that Cliff hands-down had the best cars on the Warriors, so there is that). Not to mention Jeff McInnis and Marc Jackson.
NEW ORLEANS/OKLAHOMA CITY HORNETS. It's amazing how much better the arrival of rookie point guard Chris Paul has made them. The leading candidate for the Rookie Of The Year (although the next entry has a good one, too), Paul already leads the team like a seasoned vet. And speaking of seasoned vets, P.J. Brown is still doing his thing at 36. Other than that, a lot of Euros and youngsters (and young Euros) that will take a while to gel. When they do, Byron Scott will be standing there. With his arms crossed.
NEW YORK KNICKS, An enigma wrapped in a mystery stashed inside Larry Brown's head. He hasn't snapped and killed anyone yet, which is a plus, as is the fact that he's already shown a tremendous amount of faith in his three rookies. One, Channing Frye, was named rookie of the month for November, which must have Darko Milicic looking through the Soldier Of Fortune classifieds. They still don't have a starting small forward, and the rotation is more like an octahedron, but it's starting to look like things are headed in the right direction. Maybe.
ORLANDO MAGIC. Apparently, according to local reports, Jameer Nelson has proclaimed himself the driver of Dwight Howard's bandwagon and pronounced the two inseparable, which, given Howard's promise and youth is probably a good move on Jameer's part. Steve Francis—well, you just don't hear about him as much as you did in the Houston days. And the fact that Brian Hill is back as coach is just weird. He should trade for Penny Hardaway and then cut him just out of spite.
PHILADELPHIA 76ERS. I don't even understand how Allen Iverson is doing it at this point. Ninth year in the League, ninth year of getting the crap kicked out of him every damn night, and he's playing better than ever. Maybe it's the return of the prodigal Mo Cheeks, maybe Chris Webber is the sidekick he's always needed, maybe it's Kyle Korver's hair. Whatever it is, it's working. These guys could win the Atlantic as well, but then again, so could Jersey, New York or Boston.
PHOENIX SUNS. Losing Amare Stoudemire with the most terrifying surgery possible (at least for a basketball player's knee) has got to be slightly alarming. And then trading both Quentin Richardson AND Joe Johnson may have been a bit extreme. Did D'Antoni just want this season to be more of a challenge? But the Suns still have Steve Nash, MVP, and so far all he's done is shoot the lights out and make Boris Diaw look like a basketball player. Wonder how Kurt Thomas is enjoying all the running?
PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS. Yep, these are the Trailblazers. Ruben Patterson demanding 25 minutes a night or he won't play at all? Ruben, even Terrell Owens thinks you're crazy. And I don't care how good he is, when this contract is up, he might as well move into a house with Latrell Sprewell, or buy into Vin Baker's restaurant. I'd say he wasn't exactly putting his Cincinnati education to good use, but it's not like he got one. Also, having $130 million tied up in Zach Randolph and Darius Miles doesn't seem that smart, especially when you bring in a disciplinarian coach to deal with slacker players. At least Sebastian Telfair looks good. And, inexplicably, Ghostface Przybilla.
SACRAMENTO KINGS. One could argue that it wasn't in Mike Bibby's best interest to spend his summer trying to turn himself into a middle linebacker. Didn't work too good for the Kings, either. Meanwhile, they're also discovering that the bloom is off the Rosejakovic. Peja has been injury-saddled, and ridden hard and put away wet by new acquisition Bonzi Wells on account of it. Meanwhile, Shareef Abdur-Rahim just looks sad. This may be the end of the Adelman era.
SAN ANTONIO SPURS. I give up—they're going to defend their title this year. Happy?
SEATTLE SUPERSONICS. I really have no idea. Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis can shoot, Vlad Radmanovic can complain (maybe put him in with Spree and the Nanny Stopper), Danny Fortson and Reggie Evans can break things. They get extra credit for giving Rick Brunson a real deal, and for keeping Robert Swift around to sweep up or whatever it is he does. It's unfortunate they lost Nate McMillan to their cross-uh, states, rivals, but if Nate was so loyal to the Sonics, the money shouldn't have been the deciding factor, right?
TORONTO RAPTORS. Well, you were right about Charlie Villanueva. He can play. And you're still 1-15. Good job.
UTAH JAZZ. Deron Williams looks good, although not as good as Chris Paul. Carlos Boozer has been a pretty useless signing, seeing that Mehmet Okur has been much better (and actually playing). Hell, even the return of the prodigal Ostertag has been better than the Booze. Then again, as long as they have Andrei "Do Everything" Kirilenko and Jerry Sloan, they should be OK.
WASHINGTON WIZARDS. Getting rid of Kwame Brown is the best example of addition by subtraction I can think of in recent years. Caron Butler makes up for the loss of Larry Hughes, and Gilbert Arenas remains out of his mind in every sense of the phrase. It would be nice if they'd change their name back to the Bullets, but then Etan Thomas would probably have to write a poem about it and we'd all be sorry.
ABC through the L (Part 1)
Well, I just figured I'd go through every team in the L today—in alphabetical order, no less—and just post some random thoughts about them. OK, half today and half tomorrow. I know Lang did the game-by-game thing on the Links, and the über-prolific Sports Guy just went through every team on ESPN.com, but hey, I'm just tryin' ta live (Devin Tha Dude is awesome). And is it just me, or is ESPN.com just trying to take over via blanket coverage? Sports Guy, Scoop, Ric Bucher, Chris Broussard, Chris Sheridan—I mean, I like all those guys (and know all of them except SG personally), but damn, how many words can you run a week on basketball? And then there's John Hollinger—early MVP picks? In DECEMBER? It's bad enough you can vote for the All-Star team now. Whoever approved that story is out of their freakin' mind. Kind of curious to look back to last season and see who was playing at an MVP level on December 1st and how they finished, but not that curious. Anyways...
ATLANTA HAWKS. I haven't watched them yet this year, at least not a full game. (Um, that's going to come up a lot.) I know they're young and athletic, and everyone including the concessions and media relations people are 6-8—and if they get the number-one pick next year they'll probably add UConn sophomore Rudy Gay, who also fits that mold. Bad enough that they're the Hawks, but starting center Jason Collier DIED before the start of the season. That's not good.
BOSTON CELTICS. Nope, haven't watched them either. I know Paul Pierce has been playing out of his mind and Mark Blount simply IS out of his mind. And Ricky Davis may very well fit into both of those categories. While Kendrick Perkins played quite well last night, Al Jefferson remains the big to watch. And Gerald Green may not be getting much burn, but he's still the best nine-fingered player in the L.
CHARLOTTE BOBCATS. Say it with me, haven't watched a game. John Hollinger called Gerald Wallace an early MVP candidate, and while I think that makes ol' JH certifiable, Gerald has been tearing it up. Wait, or was it Kareem Rush? Regardless, both of them have about the same chance—that of a snowball in hell. Emeka Okafor is continuing to do his thing, despite the fact that defenses know him a little better now. And I like the pick of two teammates from North Carolina, although Sean May and Raymond Felton aren't quite Sam Perkins and Michael Jordan—or even Rasheed Wallace and Jerry Stackhouse. At least, not yet.
CHICAGO BULLS. These guys I've definitely watched. Michael Sweetney is a more than capable replacement for Eddy Curry (although it would be nice to see him go down a size or six before he has heart troubles of his own), Kirk Hinrich is becoming an elite guard, and Luol Deng is healthy. And despite getting posterized by Trevor Ariza last night, Andres Nocioni gives considerable muscle and swagger. It would be nice if Tyson Chandler could find at least a TINY scoring touch, and if Ben Gordon could recapture some of his rookie magic. But let's face it—in a division with Indiana, Detroit and Cleveland, all they need to worry about is being one of the top eight in the East. Why not? (Tim Thomas, ha ha ha ha.)
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS. Watched them, too. LeBron James finally has a supporting cast, and he's just gotten better himself. With Donyell Marshall outside the arc, a miraculously fracture-free Zydrunas Ilgauskas inside and Larry Hughes providing even more athleticism in the backcourt, you can count on this—no one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to want to face them in the first round. And they'll be there for sure.
DALLAS MAVERICKS. Haven't watched these guys, but I don't have to in order to know that Erick Dampier is underachieving and Dirk Nowitzki is still really good. Oh, and Pavel Podkolzine is big. I also can't think of a more unlikely duo than Josh Howard and Marquis Daniels. Both acquired the same year, and both major contributors. Jason Terry is a badass, too. Unfortunately, you just can't trust a team with Keith Van Horn on it. Just ask Kenyon Martin.
DENVER NUGGETS. And speaking of Kenyon...actually, forget Kenyon. Marcus Camby is out of his freaking mind. Well, Marcus has always had that kind of ability, it's just that he always gets hurt. Maybe this year he finally stays healthy? I'm sure it would suit Denver fine, since this is the second straight year they've lost a starter on opening day. This year it was Nene, who opened up more minutes for Kenyon and Mr. Camby. He also managed to get hurt RIGHT after turning down a big extension. Oops. Now he'll never be able to buy his last name back. And extra points (literally) for the vanity signing of Earl Watson. Nope, I don't get it. (Carmelo, stop hurting yourself.)
DETROIT PISTONS. It's sort of nuts, but they really didn't miss a beat. Rip is still running off screens, Chauncey is setting people up better than ever, Rasheed is still Rasheed, and Ben Wallace is still scary. They're probably just so happy to not get henpecked every day that they'll go on to win the championship. For the record, Rip Hamilton is my second-favorite superhero in a mask after MF Doom. I do have to say, I thought Darko would be getting more minutes by now. Not that he's necessarily doing much with them—and that's a hard lineup to crack—but the potential needs to turn into actual skill before it curdles.
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS. Goddamn. Between these guys and the Clippers, the whole West is turned upside-down. Well, except for the Spurs, of course. But Baron Davis came to the Yay last year like a Jose Canseco steroid shot, spiking a team that hadn't been much to watch since the Run-TMC days. They got a team to the playoffs in the meantime, unfortunately it was the Washington Wizards. Now, with a locked-up core under 30 (Baron, Troy Murphy, Jason Richardson, Mike Dunleavy), and a guy with rings (Derek Fisher), they just need to see if they can win anything with Adonal Foyle as their starting center.
HOUSTON ROCKETS. Talked about them a few entries ago. Disaster! T-Mac's hurtin', Yao ain't franchisin', and the Stro Show ain't what it was supposed to be. Jeff Van Gundy is gonna need a miracle—or a new playbook—to last the season in H-town. Hurts even more that they swapped Mike James (who?) MIKE JAMES for Rafer Alston and watched James become an offensive juggernaut in T-dot.
INDIANA PACERS. Ron Artest is even crazier than we thought. I definitely like the new 'do, though. And I still like the Pacers to win it all, although I'm not sure who takes the big shots down the stretch. Jermaine O'Neal? Ron-Ron? Stephen Jackson? The new uniforms are nice, too. About time they got rid of the pinstripes, too—they served their purpose in slimming Reggie Miller.
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS. I'm suspicious. It seems like every year they start hot, then go up in flames sometime after the All-Star break. At least that's how I remember it. Sam Cassell is definitely an improvement over Marko Jaric, and Elton Brand is being Elton Brand only even more so. He'd better be an All-Star this year or else. Meanwhile, they also hope that no one tests Corey Maggette as to whether he's actually human or not.
LOS ANGELES LAKERS. Anyone not see this coming? Kobe taking 50 shots, Phil not really caring too much, Lamar Odom probably becoming homicidal. Meanwhile Kwame Brown is whatever, and Andrew Bynum is 17. Love Smush Parker, though. And enjoy the 82, because that's probably going to be it.
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES. I can't see anything else through Pau Gasol's beard.
MIAMI HEAT. A season-long episode of "I Used To Be A Superstar—Get Me Out Of Here!" Maybe not if they keep rolling, but if things fall apart, prepare for an implosion of epic proportions. (Gary Payton?) They'd also better hope Shaq is healthy come playoff time. And I wish I could be happier about the resurrection of Alonzo Mourning, but I still hate him for what he did in leaving New Jersey (and refusing to report to Toronto). Straight-up bitch move. Lucky for Riles, Dwyane Wade will be around longer than anyone.
TO BE CONTINUED...
ATLANTA HAWKS. I haven't watched them yet this year, at least not a full game. (Um, that's going to come up a lot.) I know they're young and athletic, and everyone including the concessions and media relations people are 6-8—and if they get the number-one pick next year they'll probably add UConn sophomore Rudy Gay, who also fits that mold. Bad enough that they're the Hawks, but starting center Jason Collier DIED before the start of the season. That's not good.
BOSTON CELTICS. Nope, haven't watched them either. I know Paul Pierce has been playing out of his mind and Mark Blount simply IS out of his mind. And Ricky Davis may very well fit into both of those categories. While Kendrick Perkins played quite well last night, Al Jefferson remains the big to watch. And Gerald Green may not be getting much burn, but he's still the best nine-fingered player in the L.
CHARLOTTE BOBCATS. Say it with me, haven't watched a game. John Hollinger called Gerald Wallace an early MVP candidate, and while I think that makes ol' JH certifiable, Gerald has been tearing it up. Wait, or was it Kareem Rush? Regardless, both of them have about the same chance—that of a snowball in hell. Emeka Okafor is continuing to do his thing, despite the fact that defenses know him a little better now. And I like the pick of two teammates from North Carolina, although Sean May and Raymond Felton aren't quite Sam Perkins and Michael Jordan—or even Rasheed Wallace and Jerry Stackhouse. At least, not yet.
CHICAGO BULLS. These guys I've definitely watched. Michael Sweetney is a more than capable replacement for Eddy Curry (although it would be nice to see him go down a size or six before he has heart troubles of his own), Kirk Hinrich is becoming an elite guard, and Luol Deng is healthy. And despite getting posterized by Trevor Ariza last night, Andres Nocioni gives considerable muscle and swagger. It would be nice if Tyson Chandler could find at least a TINY scoring touch, and if Ben Gordon could recapture some of his rookie magic. But let's face it—in a division with Indiana, Detroit and Cleveland, all they need to worry about is being one of the top eight in the East. Why not? (Tim Thomas, ha ha ha ha.)
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS. Watched them, too. LeBron James finally has a supporting cast, and he's just gotten better himself. With Donyell Marshall outside the arc, a miraculously fracture-free Zydrunas Ilgauskas inside and Larry Hughes providing even more athleticism in the backcourt, you can count on this—no one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to want to face them in the first round. And they'll be there for sure.
DALLAS MAVERICKS. Haven't watched these guys, but I don't have to in order to know that Erick Dampier is underachieving and Dirk Nowitzki is still really good. Oh, and Pavel Podkolzine is big. I also can't think of a more unlikely duo than Josh Howard and Marquis Daniels. Both acquired the same year, and both major contributors. Jason Terry is a badass, too. Unfortunately, you just can't trust a team with Keith Van Horn on it. Just ask Kenyon Martin.
DENVER NUGGETS. And speaking of Kenyon...actually, forget Kenyon. Marcus Camby is out of his freaking mind. Well, Marcus has always had that kind of ability, it's just that he always gets hurt. Maybe this year he finally stays healthy? I'm sure it would suit Denver fine, since this is the second straight year they've lost a starter on opening day. This year it was Nene, who opened up more minutes for Kenyon and Mr. Camby. He also managed to get hurt RIGHT after turning down a big extension. Oops. Now he'll never be able to buy his last name back. And extra points (literally) for the vanity signing of Earl Watson. Nope, I don't get it. (Carmelo, stop hurting yourself.)
DETROIT PISTONS. It's sort of nuts, but they really didn't miss a beat. Rip is still running off screens, Chauncey is setting people up better than ever, Rasheed is still Rasheed, and Ben Wallace is still scary. They're probably just so happy to not get henpecked every day that they'll go on to win the championship. For the record, Rip Hamilton is my second-favorite superhero in a mask after MF Doom. I do have to say, I thought Darko would be getting more minutes by now. Not that he's necessarily doing much with them—and that's a hard lineup to crack—but the potential needs to turn into actual skill before it curdles.
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS. Goddamn. Between these guys and the Clippers, the whole West is turned upside-down. Well, except for the Spurs, of course. But Baron Davis came to the Yay last year like a Jose Canseco steroid shot, spiking a team that hadn't been much to watch since the Run-TMC days. They got a team to the playoffs in the meantime, unfortunately it was the Washington Wizards. Now, with a locked-up core under 30 (Baron, Troy Murphy, Jason Richardson, Mike Dunleavy), and a guy with rings (Derek Fisher), they just need to see if they can win anything with Adonal Foyle as their starting center.
HOUSTON ROCKETS. Talked about them a few entries ago. Disaster! T-Mac's hurtin', Yao ain't franchisin', and the Stro Show ain't what it was supposed to be. Jeff Van Gundy is gonna need a miracle—or a new playbook—to last the season in H-town. Hurts even more that they swapped Mike James (who?) MIKE JAMES for Rafer Alston and watched James become an offensive juggernaut in T-dot.
INDIANA PACERS. Ron Artest is even crazier than we thought. I definitely like the new 'do, though. And I still like the Pacers to win it all, although I'm not sure who takes the big shots down the stretch. Jermaine O'Neal? Ron-Ron? Stephen Jackson? The new uniforms are nice, too. About time they got rid of the pinstripes, too—they served their purpose in slimming Reggie Miller.
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS. I'm suspicious. It seems like every year they start hot, then go up in flames sometime after the All-Star break. At least that's how I remember it. Sam Cassell is definitely an improvement over Marko Jaric, and Elton Brand is being Elton Brand only even more so. He'd better be an All-Star this year or else. Meanwhile, they also hope that no one tests Corey Maggette as to whether he's actually human or not.
LOS ANGELES LAKERS. Anyone not see this coming? Kobe taking 50 shots, Phil not really caring too much, Lamar Odom probably becoming homicidal. Meanwhile Kwame Brown is whatever, and Andrew Bynum is 17. Love Smush Parker, though. And enjoy the 82, because that's probably going to be it.
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES. I can't see anything else through Pau Gasol's beard.
MIAMI HEAT. A season-long episode of "I Used To Be A Superstar—Get Me Out Of Here!" Maybe not if they keep rolling, but if things fall apart, prepare for an implosion of epic proportions. (Gary Payton?) They'd also better hope Shaq is healthy come playoff time. And I wish I could be happier about the resurrection of Alonzo Mourning, but I still hate him for what he did in leaving New Jersey (and refusing to report to Toronto). Straight-up bitch move. Lucky for Riles, Dwyane Wade will be around longer than anyone.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Kill Your Television
Read something not too long ago (maybe on MSNBC) about how watching television is unhealthy. Something to do with all the negative images and whatnot. Sounded good to me. So, for the next week, at least, my goal is to limit my television viewing to 15 minutes of NY1 in the morning (Pat Kiernan, represent!) and NBA games at night. OK, and maybe some NFL on Sunday and Monday. Regardless, no more leaving on The Devil's Advocate for the 973rd time as background noise ("I'm a FAN of MAN!!!!"). We'll see how it goes.
I guess I should be at the Garden tonight for Knicks/Bulls, but I kind of forgot about it until it was too late. Funny how that works—normally I'd be all over this game. Have to holla at Kirk Hinrich later (and catch the results tomorrow A.M. in the Post). Won't be around LeaguePass or MSG tonight, unfortunately.
I may have mentioned this already, but it bears re-mentioning—Danger Doom's The Mouse And The Mask is the year's best album. Get it. I haven't even seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force and I think it's awesome. MF Doom is the best MC alive. Yeah, I said it.
I guess I should be at the Garden tonight for Knicks/Bulls, but I kind of forgot about it until it was too late. Funny how that works—normally I'd be all over this game. Have to holla at Kirk Hinrich later (and catch the results tomorrow A.M. in the Post). Won't be around LeaguePass or MSG tonight, unfortunately.
I may have mentioned this already, but it bears re-mentioning—Danger Doom's The Mouse And The Mask is the year's best album. Get it. I haven't even seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force and I think it's awesome. MF Doom is the best MC alive. Yeah, I said it.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Shawn from the dead.
I don't even know if I can do this or not, but I actually wanted to try and post a link here (yeah, I'm blog illiterate). My main man Lang Whitaker over at SLAMonline has no doubt linked to this as well, but I figure this deserves as much exposure as it can get.
Prepare for Reign.
Dammit.
So I re-read a little of my last entry and realize that I used the word "inevitable" in consecutive sentences while talking about the Knicks. That's why I need an editor. I mean, I WAS an editor (and hopefully will be again someday so my college edumacation doesn't go entirely to waste), but it still helps to have someone read over my stuff. Please feel free to point out that kind of stuff if you're reading this—I promise I won't get embarassed much.
Much like Eminem, I'm spending part of today cleaning out my closet. I have a somewhat small walk-in that's been completely infested with sneakers and t-shirts. I swear to God they're breeding in there. Cleared 30 t-shirts and nine or 10 pairs of sneakers today, and I'm not sure it'll make a damn bit of difference. I did make a pact with my girl that we wouldn't buy any clothes for ourselves this month, so we'll see how that goes. At least I'll be able to sate my compulsive urge to buy stuff through Christmas shopping (which I haven't started yet).
I was going to go to Philly with Lang tonight to catch the Sixers/Blazers, but it's not happening now. Would have been my fifth NBA arena this season, too. Oh well, I'll get there. I'd like to see games in 10 different arenas this season, if possible. Philly and Boston will be easy enough. And I'll be tempted to JetBlue it to L.A. at some point. Gotta see where else they fly, too. Pretty sure they do Miami, and I've actually never seen a game there. Hmm.
Much like Eminem, I'm spending part of today cleaning out my closet. I have a somewhat small walk-in that's been completely infested with sneakers and t-shirts. I swear to God they're breeding in there. Cleared 30 t-shirts and nine or 10 pairs of sneakers today, and I'm not sure it'll make a damn bit of difference. I did make a pact with my girl that we wouldn't buy any clothes for ourselves this month, so we'll see how that goes. At least I'll be able to sate my compulsive urge to buy stuff through Christmas shopping (which I haven't started yet).
I was going to go to Philly with Lang tonight to catch the Sixers/Blazers, but it's not happening now. Would have been my fifth NBA arena this season, too. Oh well, I'll get there. I'd like to see games in 10 different arenas this season, if possible. Philly and Boston will be easy enough. And I'll be tempted to JetBlue it to L.A. at some point. Gotta see where else they fly, too. Pretty sure they do Miami, and I've actually never seen a game there. Hmm.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Where was I?
Um, yeah, sorry about that. It's a good thing no one's life depends on this getting updated every day, or someone would be dead. Then again, judging from the comments it seems like the only "people" reading this are out to sell me something anyway. Sigh.
So, for the past two weeks I've been off doing this, that and the other thing (mostly the other thing), with trips to Oakland and Oklahoma tossed in (not just because they sounded alike). Caught NBA games in both cities, as well as Thanksgiving with the family in Norman, OK. It's also been in the 60s here (and 70 in Oklahoma), so I've been trying to do stuff outside—yeah, global warming's a myth Michael Crichton, you gangly bastard.
If you follow SLAMonline.com at all, you'd have seen my dispatches from Oakland and Oklahoma on The Links. Which is another reason why I haven't been posting as much here. Not much of an excuse, I know, but sort of one? I mean, it's not like I didn't have Internet access on the road. (I do need to get that Apple AirPort setup so I can be wireless, though. Maybe this week.)
Anyway, here's 10 things I like about the NBA right now:
10) Jeff Van Gundy running the Rockets into the ground: With Yao rested and the Stro Show in town, the Rockets were supposed to be second only to the Spurs in the West—especially with Amare Stoudemire sidelined with Penny surgery. Instead they're what, 3-11, on an eight-game slide. T-Mac's back is acting up again, Yao has some sort of a weird neck beard, and Charlie Ward retired. My big hope is that Van Gundy gets fired and replaced by assistant coach Patrick Ewing.
9) Chris Paul is gangsta: While I detest George Shinn and Byron Scott, I have nothing against the Hornets players, and Chris "CP3" Paul is one hell of a player. If I lived in Oklahoma City—well, I'd move, but if I HAD to stay there, I'd definitely get season tickets, and Paul would be the number one reason why. Baron Davis has been killing it in Golden State (I'll get to him), but the Hornets did just fine. (Andrew Bogut has been ill, too, as far as rooks go.)
8) The Clippers are better than the Lakers: Who knew? Actually, everyone should have known that the Lakers would suck (and Kobe would be taking all the shots), but the Clippers being this good? With Sam Cassell running the show? There's obviously plenty of time for this all to blow up, so enjoy it while you can. The Lakers will probably stay a mess, though—wonder what Phil Jackson will call his next book? "Zen And The Art Of Kwame Brown Maintenance"?
7) The Warriors might be the best team in California: What? When was the last time that happened? (Maybe sometime during Run-TMC post-Magic.) But with the Lakers plodding, the Kings imploding and the Clippers—well, the Clippers just CAN'T be the best team in Cali—it's all up to the Warriors. The late season trade for Baron Davis added swagger, and lottery pick Ike Diogu (once he recovered from his broken hand) added strength. Jason Richardson is one of the L's most athletic 2s, and Troy Murphy is a hell of a shot for a big man. Plus, college transplant Mike Montgomery can actually coach in the pros! Oakland, stand up.
6) Where in the world is Latrell Sprewell?: To be honest, I keep thinking I'm going to see him behind a Starbucks counter, or driving a cab. I mean, he needs to feed his family, right? It's obvious that he could be helping out somewhere, but after being "insulted" by the Wolves offer of a three-year, $21 million extension, it's likely he's going to need to take the veteran minimum somewhere to prove he's not a bad guy. Um, except for the whole coach choking thing. The only downside to Spree being out of the League is that KG looks absolutely MISERABLE in Minnesota. Sorry, Ticket.
5) Ron Artest's hair: Just when you think he can't get any crazier, he goes and gets all Anthony Mason/MC Serch on us. Ron's the best.
4) The ongoing success of the Detroit Pistons sans Larry Brown: Flip Saunders might not be the defensive genius LB is, but he's taken the shackles off the offense, and the Pistons look like they're having a hell of a time out there. Time will tell whether they'll have the same intensity in the playoffs, but as of right now they're the team to beat in the East.
3) LeBron James: Leads the Cavs to eight straight wins, including one where he went for a 30-plus point triple-double. Kid's 20 and he's already the best in the L, or at least right there with them. If he doesn't peak until 28 or so, I'm terrified to think how he's going to rewrite the record books.
2) The Knicks: What's not to like? The terrible start, the "trade Stephon" rumors after four games, the emergence of rookies Channing Frye and Nate Robinson as key components of a Larry "I Hate Rookies" Brown-coached team, the predictable injury-riddled pivot combo of Eddy Curry and Jerome James, the inevitable retirement of Allan Houston. Can't wait for the trades to start—as well as the inevitable power struggle between Isiah and LB.
1) Pau Gasol's beard: How do you say "Grizzly Adams" in Spanish?
So, for the past two weeks I've been off doing this, that and the other thing (mostly the other thing), with trips to Oakland and Oklahoma tossed in (not just because they sounded alike). Caught NBA games in both cities, as well as Thanksgiving with the family in Norman, OK. It's also been in the 60s here (and 70 in Oklahoma), so I've been trying to do stuff outside—yeah, global warming's a myth Michael Crichton, you gangly bastard.
If you follow SLAMonline.com at all, you'd have seen my dispatches from Oakland and Oklahoma on The Links. Which is another reason why I haven't been posting as much here. Not much of an excuse, I know, but sort of one? I mean, it's not like I didn't have Internet access on the road. (I do need to get that Apple AirPort setup so I can be wireless, though. Maybe this week.)
Anyway, here's 10 things I like about the NBA right now:
10) Jeff Van Gundy running the Rockets into the ground: With Yao rested and the Stro Show in town, the Rockets were supposed to be second only to the Spurs in the West—especially with Amare Stoudemire sidelined with Penny surgery. Instead they're what, 3-11, on an eight-game slide. T-Mac's back is acting up again, Yao has some sort of a weird neck beard, and Charlie Ward retired. My big hope is that Van Gundy gets fired and replaced by assistant coach Patrick Ewing.
9) Chris Paul is gangsta: While I detest George Shinn and Byron Scott, I have nothing against the Hornets players, and Chris "CP3" Paul is one hell of a player. If I lived in Oklahoma City—well, I'd move, but if I HAD to stay there, I'd definitely get season tickets, and Paul would be the number one reason why. Baron Davis has been killing it in Golden State (I'll get to him), but the Hornets did just fine. (Andrew Bogut has been ill, too, as far as rooks go.)
8) The Clippers are better than the Lakers: Who knew? Actually, everyone should have known that the Lakers would suck (and Kobe would be taking all the shots), but the Clippers being this good? With Sam Cassell running the show? There's obviously plenty of time for this all to blow up, so enjoy it while you can. The Lakers will probably stay a mess, though—wonder what Phil Jackson will call his next book? "Zen And The Art Of Kwame Brown Maintenance"?
7) The Warriors might be the best team in California: What? When was the last time that happened? (Maybe sometime during Run-TMC post-Magic.) But with the Lakers plodding, the Kings imploding and the Clippers—well, the Clippers just CAN'T be the best team in Cali—it's all up to the Warriors. The late season trade for Baron Davis added swagger, and lottery pick Ike Diogu (once he recovered from his broken hand) added strength. Jason Richardson is one of the L's most athletic 2s, and Troy Murphy is a hell of a shot for a big man. Plus, college transplant Mike Montgomery can actually coach in the pros! Oakland, stand up.
6) Where in the world is Latrell Sprewell?: To be honest, I keep thinking I'm going to see him behind a Starbucks counter, or driving a cab. I mean, he needs to feed his family, right? It's obvious that he could be helping out somewhere, but after being "insulted" by the Wolves offer of a three-year, $21 million extension, it's likely he's going to need to take the veteran minimum somewhere to prove he's not a bad guy. Um, except for the whole coach choking thing. The only downside to Spree being out of the League is that KG looks absolutely MISERABLE in Minnesota. Sorry, Ticket.
5) Ron Artest's hair: Just when you think he can't get any crazier, he goes and gets all Anthony Mason/MC Serch on us. Ron's the best.
4) The ongoing success of the Detroit Pistons sans Larry Brown: Flip Saunders might not be the defensive genius LB is, but he's taken the shackles off the offense, and the Pistons look like they're having a hell of a time out there. Time will tell whether they'll have the same intensity in the playoffs, but as of right now they're the team to beat in the East.
3) LeBron James: Leads the Cavs to eight straight wins, including one where he went for a 30-plus point triple-double. Kid's 20 and he's already the best in the L, or at least right there with them. If he doesn't peak until 28 or so, I'm terrified to think how he's going to rewrite the record books.
2) The Knicks: What's not to like? The terrible start, the "trade Stephon" rumors after four games, the emergence of rookies Channing Frye and Nate Robinson as key components of a Larry "I Hate Rookies" Brown-coached team, the predictable injury-riddled pivot combo of Eddy Curry and Jerome James, the inevitable retirement of Allan Houston. Can't wait for the trades to start—as well as the inevitable power struggle between Isiah and LB.
1) Pau Gasol's beard: How do you say "Grizzly Adams" in Spanish?
Friday, November 11, 2005
On second thought...
...it's midnight. The second half is for ME. No more blogging for tonight.
Peace.
Peace.
Suns/Pistons
Well, this is sort of a dream Finals rematch from last season, except for the fact that Phoenix is missing 3/5 of last year's starting lineup. Boris Diaw, you're no Q Rich, even if you're wearing his number. Curious to see whether Detroit will push the tempo—Flipping it, so to speak. Then again, trying to keep up with the Suns isn't a good idea, Amare or not. 8-2 out the gate, Steve Nash putting in work.
I miss Kurt Thomas in New York. Bet Larry Brown does, too. In fact, I'd rather have him than Eddy Curry AND Jerome James, but maybe that's just me.
Wonder if Rip Hamilton even feels that mask anymore? And does he wear it everywhere? That's the kind of NBA promo spot we need—Rip's mask protecting him from everyday hazards, like mosquitos and too-hot coffee. 12-up.
The AmericaWest court still might be the illest in the L. Contrasting stain is what's up.
Rasheed Wallace might not be wearing Air Force 1s? It's hard to tell, but they look more...modern. Come on, cameras. Wait, or was I looking at Ben? Hard to believe I'd confuse the two, but I need to take a closer look.
Oh yeah, the Heat won.
The fact that the Pistons still have the same starting lineup that won the '04 title definitely should scare a lot of other teams, including the Spurs. They haven't made any real changes (except for Larry Brown, which might actually be a change for the better, before they tuned him out) and the young guys (read: Darko) may actually contribute this year. If they play Indy again, it should be a dogfight. Again.
OK, Sheed is wearing 1s, he's just got the straps hanging off the back. Gangsta.
Someone needs to tell Mike D'Antoni that, while it might have flown in Europe, the mustache just has to go. Stan "Hedgehog" Van Gundy can keep his, though.
If Kurt Thomas and Ben Wallace got into a fight, the only writers qualified to cover it would be Homer and Virgil.
Eddie House is on the Suns? Had no idea. And not only does James Jones have the same initials as Joe Johnson, but he sort of looks like him. He should demand a $70 million extension or a trade to the Hawks. Meanwhile, Brian Grant can rock down to Electric Avenue. Eddie House is dressed as Jason Terry.
Rasheed Wallace might have a spot on the All-Beard team, along with Baron Davis and first-year starter Pau Gasol. Maybe Rip and Ricky Davis at the two and three. And Brian Winters as the coach (llok up some old shots of him, you won't regret it. Actually, you might regret it a lot.) I'm probably forgetting someone super-obvious, but that's what I get for not doing any research. Oh yeah, Scot Pollard and Marc Jackson get spots on the bench. And it's too bad Vlade retired.
Maurice Evans gets the long rebound, and when they just say "Evans," I can't remember who it is. Reggie? Heshimu? Oh yeah, Maurice. Stupid old age.
Whenever I watch Antonio McDyess jump I can't help but wince with the anticipation of his kneecaps shooting out of his knees and skittering across the floor.
Carlos Delfino and Carlos Arroyo get in before Darko Milicic, who I ASSUME is active. The good thing is, now that he has to wear a tie (or at least a collared shirt) on game days he can practice his "no respect" Rodney Dangerfield routine.
Ron Harper is an assistant with the Pistons? Had no idea.
Weird—of the 10 guys on the floor, only Shawn Marion and Carlos Delfino are on their original NBA teams (and have never been traded, I should add—Nash was originally a Sun).
Two-point game with 4:37 to go in the 2nd quarter. This should go to the wire. The game's more to Detroit's tempo, lots of half-court sets.
OK, not only is Sheed wearing Air Force 1s, but they're HIDEOUS. Ostrich toepiece, blue patent around the ankle and red patent around the heel, white leather everywhere else. Horrible. Photos of them have been floating around Niketalk.com for weeks, but I always figured they were just horrific counterfeits. Shows what I know.
Um, Boris Diaw (pronounced DEE-OW) looks a billion times better as a Sun than he did as a Hawk. Sure everyone in the ATL (and Lang) are thrilled about that.
Tied at 52 at the half. I love this game. No, THIS game.
More after the half.
I miss Kurt Thomas in New York. Bet Larry Brown does, too. In fact, I'd rather have him than Eddy Curry AND Jerome James, but maybe that's just me.
Wonder if Rip Hamilton even feels that mask anymore? And does he wear it everywhere? That's the kind of NBA promo spot we need—Rip's mask protecting him from everyday hazards, like mosquitos and too-hot coffee. 12-up.
The AmericaWest court still might be the illest in the L. Contrasting stain is what's up.
Rasheed Wallace might not be wearing Air Force 1s? It's hard to tell, but they look more...modern. Come on, cameras. Wait, or was I looking at Ben? Hard to believe I'd confuse the two, but I need to take a closer look.
Oh yeah, the Heat won.
The fact that the Pistons still have the same starting lineup that won the '04 title definitely should scare a lot of other teams, including the Spurs. They haven't made any real changes (except for Larry Brown, which might actually be a change for the better, before they tuned him out) and the young guys (read: Darko) may actually contribute this year. If they play Indy again, it should be a dogfight. Again.
OK, Sheed is wearing 1s, he's just got the straps hanging off the back. Gangsta.
Someone needs to tell Mike D'Antoni that, while it might have flown in Europe, the mustache just has to go. Stan "Hedgehog" Van Gundy can keep his, though.
If Kurt Thomas and Ben Wallace got into a fight, the only writers qualified to cover it would be Homer and Virgil.
Eddie House is on the Suns? Had no idea. And not only does James Jones have the same initials as Joe Johnson, but he sort of looks like him. He should demand a $70 million extension or a trade to the Hawks. Meanwhile, Brian Grant can rock down to Electric Avenue. Eddie House is dressed as Jason Terry.
Rasheed Wallace might have a spot on the All-Beard team, along with Baron Davis and first-year starter Pau Gasol. Maybe Rip and Ricky Davis at the two and three. And Brian Winters as the coach (llok up some old shots of him, you won't regret it. Actually, you might regret it a lot.) I'm probably forgetting someone super-obvious, but that's what I get for not doing any research. Oh yeah, Scot Pollard and Marc Jackson get spots on the bench. And it's too bad Vlade retired.
Maurice Evans gets the long rebound, and when they just say "Evans," I can't remember who it is. Reggie? Heshimu? Oh yeah, Maurice. Stupid old age.
Whenever I watch Antonio McDyess jump I can't help but wince with the anticipation of his kneecaps shooting out of his knees and skittering across the floor.
Carlos Delfino and Carlos Arroyo get in before Darko Milicic, who I ASSUME is active. The good thing is, now that he has to wear a tie (or at least a collared shirt) on game days he can practice his "no respect" Rodney Dangerfield routine.
Ron Harper is an assistant with the Pistons? Had no idea.
Weird—of the 10 guys on the floor, only Shawn Marion and Carlos Delfino are on their original NBA teams (and have never been traded, I should add—Nash was originally a Sun).
Two-point game with 4:37 to go in the 2nd quarter. This should go to the wire. The game's more to Detroit's tempo, lots of half-court sets.
OK, not only is Sheed wearing Air Force 1s, but they're HIDEOUS. Ostrich toepiece, blue patent around the ankle and red patent around the heel, white leather everywhere else. Horrible. Photos of them have been floating around Niketalk.com for weeks, but I always figured they were just horrific counterfeits. Shows what I know.
Um, Boris Diaw (pronounced DEE-OW) looks a billion times better as a Sun than he did as a Hawk. Sure everyone in the ATL (and Lang) are thrilled about that.
Tied at 52 at the half. I love this game. No, THIS game.
More after the half.
Well, Heat/Rockets then.
Actually, without T-Mac and Shaq, I've said all I can for now. Be back for Pistons/Suns.
Clippers/Hawks
Joining the action with 1:34 left in the first and the score tied at 23. Somehow, this is the only NBA game on tonight. Which is, of course, the only reason I'm watching it. Heck, it was either this or the end of "Superman II." And I know what happens in that.
It's just too bad that Shaun Livingtson is out (again), because he is really fun to watch—and he was looking even better this summer. But still, can't complain too much. Instead we've got Sam Cassell, Elton "Perennial All-Star Except He's A Clipper" Brand, Corey Maggette Cat Mobley and Chris Wilcox. Then, on the other side, Marvin Williams, Al Harrington, Josh Smith and Joe Johnson, who should have found a way to wear No. 70,000,000 this year.
Steve Smith is announcing, which is rad. Always liked Smitty, he was gracious to a fault as a player and was always a class act. Still is.
Zeljko Rebraca? Daniel Ewing? Quinton Ross? These are your Los Angeles Clippers. Bummer that Daniel Ewing isn't wearing No. 33. Or Ewings, for that matter. Hell, if he came out in Ewings, he'd be my favorite player in the L, Blue Devil or not.
Is Tyronn Lue on the Hawks because of his championship experience?
The Hawks animated/live action promo spot is good, I guess, but "Rise Up"? What other choice do they have?
There's someone named "Edwards" playing center for the Hawks—No. 54—and I have absolutely no idea who he is. None. He's replaced by Zaza Pachulia, who really should have signed with a playoff team. Or at least an NBA one.
If I played in the NBA, I'd rock everything. Headband, tall socks, wristbands, fingerwraps, calf sleeve, elbow sleeve, ankle braces, compression shorts, knee straps. Everything.
The Hawks announcer who's not Steve Smith goes on an extended riff about Corey Maggette's body, and I don't blame him. He ever goes to Greece, the damn statues are gonna start working out. It's ridiculous. He dives to save a ball, the seats'll move out of the way.
The Clippers are up 10, and I'm not sure how. The stands are half-empty, but that's no mystery.
It's good to see that Josh Childress is letting his afro come back. Wouldn't be right without it.
I know he's been gone for a while now, but it's a shame that Jeff McInnis isn't a Clipper anymore. I don't mean it in a bad way, but he just seemed like a Clipper. Ditto for Q and D Miles.
Four-point game.
Cassell and Cat is a pretty decent backcourt, actually. Sam I Am needs to rehab his rep, Cat needs to show he can thrive without his partner in, uh, crime, Franchise. And with Wilcox, Brand and Maggette, there are plenty of assists to be had. Can't see the Clips cracking the playoffs, but they're gonna ruin a lot of people's nights. The Hawks, of course, are quite capable of ruining their own nights, thank you.
Can't remember whether the Stoudamire on the Hawks is Damon or Salim. I could look it up, but why? I assume he'll score at some point.
Chris Kaman's hair is impressively awful. (And it's Salim—just got a good look at him. I guess I'll have to look up where Damon is.) Al Harrington tries to draw a charge on Maggette, which is basically like trying to draw a charge on an 18-wheeler. Adding insult to injury, he gets whistled for the block.
The Hawks guys seem surprised that Maggette has started quickly after missing a month, but then again they didn't see him balling this summer. I did, and I can safely say he would have been ready had the season started in July. He doesn't take time off.
Someone on the Hawks has some ILL adidas. The team might be bad, but they've got a great arena and good colors. So there's that.
You can't help but admire Mike Dunleavy's commitment to the Rileyesque slicked-back do despite his obvious deficiencies.
Halftime. 50-47, Clips. And ha ha, I totally forgot that there was a doubleheader on TNT. Right now it's Heat/Rockets without Shaq or T-Mac, which honestly may be less compelling than the Hawks/Clips. OK, so maybe not, but I'm committed to this game. I think. Then again, it IS halftime. Guess I could change over for a while.
OK, this is bad. I haven't watched the new-look Heat yet, and the first possession I see has Antoine Walker and Jason Williams dribbling out the shot clock, with J Will losing it on a travel. Dwyane Wade, off in the corner, doesn't touch the ball. This is not good.
Yao Ming gets swatted by Zo, which is just plain embarassing. Not sure what he has to do, but Yao has to get MEAN. He hits layups on the next two possessions, but he needs to be dunking on people.
Can't say I ever thought Jeff Van Gundy would be coaching Rafer Alston. Is there a weirder coach/player combination in the League? Well, except Larry Brown and all of the Knicks, of course.
Antoine Walker, 3; Antoine Walker, airball 3. That's my Toine.
Yao's neck beard is quite disturbing. Two fouls in four minutes though, and who wants to sex Mutombo?
Pretty cool that Juwan Howard and Alonzo Mourning are on the court at the same time—two of the first $100 million men. It's hard to believe that anyone ever thought Juwan Howard was worth $100 million, but hey, these things happen.
Jeez, with those two, Deke and now Gary Payton on the court at the same time—what years is this?
The chances of my watching any of the rest of the Hawks/Clips game are somewhere between slim and none.
You know what would be shocking, Craig Sager? Come out one night in a grey pinstriped suit and a solid tie. Plain white shirt. Wingtips.
Marv Albert, Steve Kerr and Reggie Miller in the booth. Either team would probably take Reggie right now. Actually, there's no probably about it.
Derek Anderson's cornrows look familiar—did AI have that pattern once? Someone did. Guess you can't patent hair designs. Although Anthony Mason should have.
What the hell? The Heineken sports update looks like it's coming FROM hell. What's with the red mist?
Whoops, lost some time there. It doesn't really look like that Zo's lost much. I still think he's a loser for bailing out on New Jersey, but he's definitely still got some game. Going after shots like it was 1993, snuffing Stromile Swift like he was some high school kid.
Yao's hair is...commie. Or something. Also, he's really, really, really tall.
It's still amazingly hard to believe that Jeff and Stan Van Gundy share the same parents.
I'm going to post this at halftime so if Safari crashes I won't have a nervous breakdown. Not that anyone will really care (or notice) one way or the other.
Soooo many new guys on both of these teams, it's actually confusing. Also, David Wesley looks like Marco Pantani.
Mourning goes after EVERY SHOT inside. It would be funny if he wasn't catching a bunch of them. Actually, he's only got three blocks, but it seems like more.
Reggie Miller just murked a Run-DMC lyric. It's "kill my dog, I'ma SLAY your cat." I think.
Yao misses a dunk, which is just plain absurd.
48-44 Miami at the half.
It's just too bad that Shaun Livingtson is out (again), because he is really fun to watch—and he was looking even better this summer. But still, can't complain too much. Instead we've got Sam Cassell, Elton "Perennial All-Star Except He's A Clipper" Brand, Corey Maggette Cat Mobley and Chris Wilcox. Then, on the other side, Marvin Williams, Al Harrington, Josh Smith and Joe Johnson, who should have found a way to wear No. 70,000,000 this year.
Steve Smith is announcing, which is rad. Always liked Smitty, he was gracious to a fault as a player and was always a class act. Still is.
Zeljko Rebraca? Daniel Ewing? Quinton Ross? These are your Los Angeles Clippers. Bummer that Daniel Ewing isn't wearing No. 33. Or Ewings, for that matter. Hell, if he came out in Ewings, he'd be my favorite player in the L, Blue Devil or not.
Is Tyronn Lue on the Hawks because of his championship experience?
The Hawks animated/live action promo spot is good, I guess, but "Rise Up"? What other choice do they have?
There's someone named "Edwards" playing center for the Hawks—No. 54—and I have absolutely no idea who he is. None. He's replaced by Zaza Pachulia, who really should have signed with a playoff team. Or at least an NBA one.
If I played in the NBA, I'd rock everything. Headband, tall socks, wristbands, fingerwraps, calf sleeve, elbow sleeve, ankle braces, compression shorts, knee straps. Everything.
The Hawks announcer who's not Steve Smith goes on an extended riff about Corey Maggette's body, and I don't blame him. He ever goes to Greece, the damn statues are gonna start working out. It's ridiculous. He dives to save a ball, the seats'll move out of the way.
The Clippers are up 10, and I'm not sure how. The stands are half-empty, but that's no mystery.
It's good to see that Josh Childress is letting his afro come back. Wouldn't be right without it.
I know he's been gone for a while now, but it's a shame that Jeff McInnis isn't a Clipper anymore. I don't mean it in a bad way, but he just seemed like a Clipper. Ditto for Q and D Miles.
Four-point game.
Cassell and Cat is a pretty decent backcourt, actually. Sam I Am needs to rehab his rep, Cat needs to show he can thrive without his partner in, uh, crime, Franchise. And with Wilcox, Brand and Maggette, there are plenty of assists to be had. Can't see the Clips cracking the playoffs, but they're gonna ruin a lot of people's nights. The Hawks, of course, are quite capable of ruining their own nights, thank you.
Can't remember whether the Stoudamire on the Hawks is Damon or Salim. I could look it up, but why? I assume he'll score at some point.
Chris Kaman's hair is impressively awful. (And it's Salim—just got a good look at him. I guess I'll have to look up where Damon is.) Al Harrington tries to draw a charge on Maggette, which is basically like trying to draw a charge on an 18-wheeler. Adding insult to injury, he gets whistled for the block.
The Hawks guys seem surprised that Maggette has started quickly after missing a month, but then again they didn't see him balling this summer. I did, and I can safely say he would have been ready had the season started in July. He doesn't take time off.
Someone on the Hawks has some ILL adidas. The team might be bad, but they've got a great arena and good colors. So there's that.
You can't help but admire Mike Dunleavy's commitment to the Rileyesque slicked-back do despite his obvious deficiencies.
Halftime. 50-47, Clips. And ha ha, I totally forgot that there was a doubleheader on TNT. Right now it's Heat/Rockets without Shaq or T-Mac, which honestly may be less compelling than the Hawks/Clips. OK, so maybe not, but I'm committed to this game. I think. Then again, it IS halftime. Guess I could change over for a while.
OK, this is bad. I haven't watched the new-look Heat yet, and the first possession I see has Antoine Walker and Jason Williams dribbling out the shot clock, with J Will losing it on a travel. Dwyane Wade, off in the corner, doesn't touch the ball. This is not good.
Yao Ming gets swatted by Zo, which is just plain embarassing. Not sure what he has to do, but Yao has to get MEAN. He hits layups on the next two possessions, but he needs to be dunking on people.
Can't say I ever thought Jeff Van Gundy would be coaching Rafer Alston. Is there a weirder coach/player combination in the League? Well, except Larry Brown and all of the Knicks, of course.
Antoine Walker, 3; Antoine Walker, airball 3. That's my Toine.
Yao's neck beard is quite disturbing. Two fouls in four minutes though, and who wants to sex Mutombo?
Pretty cool that Juwan Howard and Alonzo Mourning are on the court at the same time—two of the first $100 million men. It's hard to believe that anyone ever thought Juwan Howard was worth $100 million, but hey, these things happen.
Jeez, with those two, Deke and now Gary Payton on the court at the same time—what years is this?
The chances of my watching any of the rest of the Hawks/Clips game are somewhere between slim and none.
You know what would be shocking, Craig Sager? Come out one night in a grey pinstriped suit and a solid tie. Plain white shirt. Wingtips.
Marv Albert, Steve Kerr and Reggie Miller in the booth. Either team would probably take Reggie right now. Actually, there's no probably about it.
Derek Anderson's cornrows look familiar—did AI have that pattern once? Someone did. Guess you can't patent hair designs. Although Anthony Mason should have.
What the hell? The Heineken sports update looks like it's coming FROM hell. What's with the red mist?
Whoops, lost some time there. It doesn't really look like that Zo's lost much. I still think he's a loser for bailing out on New Jersey, but he's definitely still got some game. Going after shots like it was 1993, snuffing Stromile Swift like he was some high school kid.
Yao's hair is...commie. Or something. Also, he's really, really, really tall.
It's still amazingly hard to believe that Jeff and Stan Van Gundy share the same parents.
I'm going to post this at halftime so if Safari crashes I won't have a nervous breakdown. Not that anyone will really care (or notice) one way or the other.
Soooo many new guys on both of these teams, it's actually confusing. Also, David Wesley looks like Marco Pantani.
Mourning goes after EVERY SHOT inside. It would be funny if he wasn't catching a bunch of them. Actually, he's only got three blocks, but it seems like more.
Reggie Miller just murked a Run-DMC lyric. It's "kill my dog, I'ma SLAY your cat." I think.
Yao misses a dunk, which is just plain absurd.
48-44 Miami at the half.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Bucks/Warriors
Sprained hell out of my left ankle on Friday, so I really haven't been moving around much. Off the bikes for sure, and walking ain't much fun either. Don't even get me started on stairs. Just been days of icepacks and Epsom salt soaking. And the same Aircast I've had for the past 10 years or so. My ankles have been a disaster since way back in high school—limping is pretty much a bi-monthly activity. I probably should have gone through physical therapy at some point, but what fun would that have been? Instead, I'll probably be arthritic by 40. Can't wait.
So thank God for League Pass. Watched a little of the Hawks/Lakers—long enough to see Marvin Williams yoke one on Kwame Brown, who hasn't been doing much to polish his oh-so-tarnished reputation. Hint to Kwame: If Phil writes a book after this season, don't read it. On the other hand, Kobe Bryant seems to be suffering no ill effects after being bashed in print. In fact, he could end up having his best season ever if he keeps it up. The Lakers might miss the playoffs anyway, but it sure won't be Kobe's fault.
The more compelling game, however, was in Milwaukee, where the undefeated Bucks were taking on the revamped Golden State Warriors. It's possible that no team got better this offseason than the Bucks. They essentially added two lottery picks, in No. 1 guy Andrew Bogut and returned point guard T.J. Ford, who missed all of last season with a spinal injury (yet somehow didn't lose a step). They signed the League's Most Improved player in swingman Bobby Simmons, and then were able to trade exciting yet redundant Desmond Mason to the Hornets for All-Star center Jamaal Magloire. Factor in the ever-improving Michael Redd, and Milwaukee is looking like a tough second-round out. At least.
The Warriors didn't add as many bodies, but the one they did add—point guard Baron Davis, at the end of last season—made all the difference. Inserting him into the lineup was like flipping on a switch, as everyone came alive. They didn't have enough time to make the playoffs, but the Warriors were an entirely different team for the last month. (They do have four rookies as well—Ike Diogu, who's been sidelined since early October with a fractured left hand; Monta Ellis, who hasn't played; Aaron Miles, who's been solid in spot minutes; and Chris Taft, who has already gotten real minutes but has yet to hit a free throw.)
A couple years ago, this wasn't a matchup you'd have wanted to watch. But now, with matchups like Jason Richardson and Redd, Troy Murphy and Bogut, even Simmons and Dunleavy, this is damn near a marquee matchup. Much better for a true fan than a more heralded-sounding one like Celtics/Lakers. Just some thoughts on the game.
• Troy Murphy is a beast. 6-11 lefty with touch from outside and a banger's body? Just in case you didn't realize, he averaged a double-double last season (16 and 10), and he's just the tip of the Warriors young big iceberg: Andris Biedrins, Taft, Zarko Cabarkaba, and the hopefully soon-to-be-back Diogu. Murph is super-deadly, especially on the screen and roll with Baron (who I absolutely refuse to call Boom Dizzle).
• Baron Davis, injuries aside, is electrifying. Still got that athleticism, which is what separates him from other points like JKidd and Steve Nash. The closest comparison is Stephon Marbury, but Baron is much more of a pure point. Not that he can't hit the step-back jumper or yoke it on guys a foot taller. Still, it's his health that will make the difference.
• Chris Taft may have been picked late (42nd overall), but the Pitt product has shown the same flashes of athleticism and shot-blocking prowess that made him a prospect in the first place. As a bonus, he's not Adonal Foyle.
• Calbert Cheaney is still on the Warrior roster?
• If Dominique Wilkins is the Human Highlight Film, then Michael Redd is the Human Instructional Video. Is there anyone out there who shoots better? Especially with Reggie Miller and Allan Houston retired, it's hard to think of someone with a sweeter stroke. Except for maybe Ray Allen, who was of course his predecessor. How lucky is that? The closest comparison I can come up with is AC/DC—Bon Scott dies, they get Brian Johnson, and release "Back In Black" less than a year later. Never skipped a beat.
• T. J. Ford is unbelievable. Misses well over a year with spinal problems, and comes back in mid-season form. Talk about not skipping a beat. Ford is a blur on the court, connecting perfectly with a whole mess of guys he's never played with. Mo Williams as his backup isn't too shabby, either.
• I was wrong about Andrew Bogut. So wrong. Didn't think he was first-pick worthy, thought Marvin Williams would be better. And Marv might end up being the better player, in the long run. But for out-the-box NBA performance, Bogut is the man. Seventeen boards—eight offensive—in his third game? Crazy. He still looks like a giant Owen Wilson, though.
• The Bucks got Jamaal Magloire for what? Desmond Mason and a first-round pick? ROBBERY. Not only was Mason made expendable by the Bobby Simmons pickup, but the first-round pick was just going to mean adding more salary. The core of this team is in place, and they're all young. Adding the best center in the division was a no-brainer. Maybe it was a bold move that late in the game, but it'll pay off. Soon.
• Funny thing is this—the Warriors beat the Bucks, IN Milwaukee, and I'm still not sure whether they make the playoffs. They've got the talent, but a lot of it is still in the form of potential. Other than Davis, Richardson and Murphy, it's hard to tell if there's enough consistency. And it bears repeating how much hinges on Davis's health. He's a monster—and he's gotten it done in the playoffs before—but they're going to need at least 70 games from him, and some serious improvement from Dunleavy and others, to even get there. This year.
So thank God for League Pass. Watched a little of the Hawks/Lakers—long enough to see Marvin Williams yoke one on Kwame Brown, who hasn't been doing much to polish his oh-so-tarnished reputation. Hint to Kwame: If Phil writes a book after this season, don't read it. On the other hand, Kobe Bryant seems to be suffering no ill effects after being bashed in print. In fact, he could end up having his best season ever if he keeps it up. The Lakers might miss the playoffs anyway, but it sure won't be Kobe's fault.
The more compelling game, however, was in Milwaukee, where the undefeated Bucks were taking on the revamped Golden State Warriors. It's possible that no team got better this offseason than the Bucks. They essentially added two lottery picks, in No. 1 guy Andrew Bogut and returned point guard T.J. Ford, who missed all of last season with a spinal injury (yet somehow didn't lose a step). They signed the League's Most Improved player in swingman Bobby Simmons, and then were able to trade exciting yet redundant Desmond Mason to the Hornets for All-Star center Jamaal Magloire. Factor in the ever-improving Michael Redd, and Milwaukee is looking like a tough second-round out. At least.
The Warriors didn't add as many bodies, but the one they did add—point guard Baron Davis, at the end of last season—made all the difference. Inserting him into the lineup was like flipping on a switch, as everyone came alive. They didn't have enough time to make the playoffs, but the Warriors were an entirely different team for the last month. (They do have four rookies as well—Ike Diogu, who's been sidelined since early October with a fractured left hand; Monta Ellis, who hasn't played; Aaron Miles, who's been solid in spot minutes; and Chris Taft, who has already gotten real minutes but has yet to hit a free throw.)
A couple years ago, this wasn't a matchup you'd have wanted to watch. But now, with matchups like Jason Richardson and Redd, Troy Murphy and Bogut, even Simmons and Dunleavy, this is damn near a marquee matchup. Much better for a true fan than a more heralded-sounding one like Celtics/Lakers. Just some thoughts on the game.
• Troy Murphy is a beast. 6-11 lefty with touch from outside and a banger's body? Just in case you didn't realize, he averaged a double-double last season (16 and 10), and he's just the tip of the Warriors young big iceberg: Andris Biedrins, Taft, Zarko Cabarkaba, and the hopefully soon-to-be-back Diogu. Murph is super-deadly, especially on the screen and roll with Baron (who I absolutely refuse to call Boom Dizzle).
• Baron Davis, injuries aside, is electrifying. Still got that athleticism, which is what separates him from other points like JKidd and Steve Nash. The closest comparison is Stephon Marbury, but Baron is much more of a pure point. Not that he can't hit the step-back jumper or yoke it on guys a foot taller. Still, it's his health that will make the difference.
• Chris Taft may have been picked late (42nd overall), but the Pitt product has shown the same flashes of athleticism and shot-blocking prowess that made him a prospect in the first place. As a bonus, he's not Adonal Foyle.
• Calbert Cheaney is still on the Warrior roster?
• If Dominique Wilkins is the Human Highlight Film, then Michael Redd is the Human Instructional Video. Is there anyone out there who shoots better? Especially with Reggie Miller and Allan Houston retired, it's hard to think of someone with a sweeter stroke. Except for maybe Ray Allen, who was of course his predecessor. How lucky is that? The closest comparison I can come up with is AC/DC—Bon Scott dies, they get Brian Johnson, and release "Back In Black" less than a year later. Never skipped a beat.
• T. J. Ford is unbelievable. Misses well over a year with spinal problems, and comes back in mid-season form. Talk about not skipping a beat. Ford is a blur on the court, connecting perfectly with a whole mess of guys he's never played with. Mo Williams as his backup isn't too shabby, either.
• I was wrong about Andrew Bogut. So wrong. Didn't think he was first-pick worthy, thought Marvin Williams would be better. And Marv might end up being the better player, in the long run. But for out-the-box NBA performance, Bogut is the man. Seventeen boards—eight offensive—in his third game? Crazy. He still looks like a giant Owen Wilson, though.
• The Bucks got Jamaal Magloire for what? Desmond Mason and a first-round pick? ROBBERY. Not only was Mason made expendable by the Bobby Simmons pickup, but the first-round pick was just going to mean adding more salary. The core of this team is in place, and they're all young. Adding the best center in the division was a no-brainer. Maybe it was a bold move that late in the game, but it'll pay off. Soon.
• Funny thing is this—the Warriors beat the Bucks, IN Milwaukee, and I'm still not sure whether they make the playoffs. They've got the talent, but a lot of it is still in the form of potential. Other than Davis, Richardson and Murphy, it's hard to tell if there's enough consistency. And it bears repeating how much hinges on Davis's health. He's a monster—and he's gotten it done in the playoffs before—but they're going to need at least 70 games from him, and some serious improvement from Dunleavy and others, to even get there. This year.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
More random NBA stuff.
Pau Gasol's beard is the best thing in the League right now. He looks like a cross between a lumberjack and an NFL quarterback from the '70s. Pau Bunyan? The neck beard's a bit much, but then again it's better than a neck tattoo. (Speaking of which, did Starbury get another one this summer?)
The Clippers start 3-0. It won't last—in fact, they already suffered their first loss at the hands of the Timberwolves—but with Phil Jax and Kobe getting all the ink in SoCal, it's nice to see the other guys doing something. What's really scary is that the Kings might be the worst team in California right now.
The Sixers start 0-3. It too, won't last—in fact, they got their first win at Indiana, of all places. But with Allen Iverson averaging 30-plus (again) and taking on much of the load, something's going to have to change before he breaks down. Maurice Cheeks should get quite the honeymoon in his city, but Philly fans aren't exactly known for their patience.
The Bucks start 3-0. And the teams they beat—Philadelphia, New Jersey and Miami—aren't exactly pushovers. Michael Redd is establishing himself as the most lethal scorer in the League, and lightning-quick point guard T.J. Ford shows no ill effects from the spinal injury that knocked him out for an entire season. Even better, the theft of All-Star center Jamaal Magloire from the Hornets takes pressure off No. 1 pick Andrew Bogut. The Central Division is going to be tough.
The Pistons start 3-0. They head West now, but Flip Saunders has already established that he can coach. With Rip Hamilton flying around screens and Tayshaun Prince slashing through lanes, it's just yet to be seen whether Darko Milicic can do some real things in real minutes. This year, he should get that chance.
Joe Johnson could have made $50 million in Phoenix, or $70 million in Atlanta. Sure, $20 million is a lot of money. But it's not like he would have been poor either way. And, as Isiah Thomas could attest to, you can't buy wins. Unless you pay Michael Jordan $30 million a season, but that was a long time ago. And Joe Johnson, you're no Michael Jordan. Have fun at the Gold Club.
Keon Clark should be everyone's hero. He walked away from the NBA after earning $15 million because it was enough. He doesn't want to suffer later for injuries just to make millions more, or live by anyone else's rules—despite the fact that he could easily sign with someone this season. Respect, Keon.
For the record, I'm not sure why it's 65 degrees in the middle of November, but I'll take it.
The Clippers start 3-0. It won't last—in fact, they already suffered their first loss at the hands of the Timberwolves—but with Phil Jax and Kobe getting all the ink in SoCal, it's nice to see the other guys doing something. What's really scary is that the Kings might be the worst team in California right now.
The Sixers start 0-3. It too, won't last—in fact, they got their first win at Indiana, of all places. But with Allen Iverson averaging 30-plus (again) and taking on much of the load, something's going to have to change before he breaks down. Maurice Cheeks should get quite the honeymoon in his city, but Philly fans aren't exactly known for their patience.
The Bucks start 3-0. And the teams they beat—Philadelphia, New Jersey and Miami—aren't exactly pushovers. Michael Redd is establishing himself as the most lethal scorer in the League, and lightning-quick point guard T.J. Ford shows no ill effects from the spinal injury that knocked him out for an entire season. Even better, the theft of All-Star center Jamaal Magloire from the Hornets takes pressure off No. 1 pick Andrew Bogut. The Central Division is going to be tough.
The Pistons start 3-0. They head West now, but Flip Saunders has already established that he can coach. With Rip Hamilton flying around screens and Tayshaun Prince slashing through lanes, it's just yet to be seen whether Darko Milicic can do some real things in real minutes. This year, he should get that chance.
Joe Johnson could have made $50 million in Phoenix, or $70 million in Atlanta. Sure, $20 million is a lot of money. But it's not like he would have been poor either way. And, as Isiah Thomas could attest to, you can't buy wins. Unless you pay Michael Jordan $30 million a season, but that was a long time ago. And Joe Johnson, you're no Michael Jordan. Have fun at the Gold Club.
Keon Clark should be everyone's hero. He walked away from the NBA after earning $15 million because it was enough. He doesn't want to suffer later for injuries just to make millions more, or live by anyone else's rules—despite the fact that he could easily sign with someone this season. Respect, Keon.
For the record, I'm not sure why it's 65 degrees in the middle of November, but I'll take it.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Always coming up with the best lines too late. Re: Larry Brown and the Knicks
Please insert somewhere in the entry below:
Shotgun weddings don't have honeymoons.
Thanks.
Shotgun weddings don't have honeymoons.
Thanks.
Larry Legend
Three games, three losses.
Thie first to the division rival Celtics, by 14 in overtime, in which the Knicks allowed 20 points in five minutes. The second, a home-opener double-digit loss to the Wizards which resulted in boos midway through the first quarter. And the third—a moral victory in comparison—a two-point defeat at the hands of the Golden State Warriors. With that 0-3 record firmly in hand, the Knicks go off to the West Coast on a six-game road swing.
These are your New York Knicks.
Three games into the season, and already there is dissent among the veterans (that being a relative term—Stephon Marbury and Penny Hardaway are the longest-tenured Knicks), abject failure at the fundamentals (Jerome James has 10 fouls to go with two points, Stephon Marbury has missed 13 of 28 free throw attempts), and late-game collapses, long a hallmark of this Knicks franchise. Giving up 20 points in overtime—just five off the all-time NBA record—is embarassing by anyone's standards, and downright disgusting considering what should be expected of Brown's Knicks.
There are a virtual stockpile of useful excuses at the ready, ranging from preseason injuries to youth to unfamiliarity with teammates and sets. But this wasn't supposed to be a rebuilding process, was it? You don't hire a 65-year-old coach with health problems for untold millions in order to win years from now, do you? How many $50-million-plus contracts are on the floor? You win NOW.
The biggest worry Knick fans should have is this: Is there even a plan? Or was this just the matter of bringing in big names at big prices and hoping it would work?
For starters, this isn't a Larry Brown team. He made his name coaching—no, teaching—hard-nosed players, not flashy ones. While Allen Iverson made things tick in Philly, they wouldn't have made the Finals without George Lynch, Aaron McKie and Eric Snow. New York is decidedly short on those types, with the exception of Antonio Davis, a throw-in from the Eddy Curry deal who played for Brown in Indiana. Also, Brown doesn't have much faith in rookies—or young players at all, for that matter. Even while his Pistons won a championship and competed for another, No. 2 pick Darko Milicic languished on the bench, seeing only sporadic minutes. And last year, Carlos Delfino and Carlos Arroyo were similarly neglected. As exhibited in the Warriors game, rookies David Lee, Channing Frye and Nate Robinson are among the Knicks most energetic players. In order for them to win, Brown may need to give the kids more time, and sideline some of the $50 million club (among them Curry, Quentin Richardson, Marbury and Jamal Crawford). Will he be willing—or even able, given Isiah Thomas's stake—to do so?
Obviously it's early. Things could turn around. Marbury and Crawford (and Robinson), or at least one of them, could become a traditional point guard. Eddy Curry could learn to rebound. Jerome James could stop fouling everyone. Trevor Ariza could learn to run off screens like LB-coached beanpole predecessors Reggie Miller and Rip Hamilton. Brown could learn to trust Lee, Ariza and training camp surprise Matt Barnes. Anything can happen.
Something'd better.
Thie first to the division rival Celtics, by 14 in overtime, in which the Knicks allowed 20 points in five minutes. The second, a home-opener double-digit loss to the Wizards which resulted in boos midway through the first quarter. And the third—a moral victory in comparison—a two-point defeat at the hands of the Golden State Warriors. With that 0-3 record firmly in hand, the Knicks go off to the West Coast on a six-game road swing.
These are your New York Knicks.
Three games into the season, and already there is dissent among the veterans (that being a relative term—Stephon Marbury and Penny Hardaway are the longest-tenured Knicks), abject failure at the fundamentals (Jerome James has 10 fouls to go with two points, Stephon Marbury has missed 13 of 28 free throw attempts), and late-game collapses, long a hallmark of this Knicks franchise. Giving up 20 points in overtime—just five off the all-time NBA record—is embarassing by anyone's standards, and downright disgusting considering what should be expected of Brown's Knicks.
There are a virtual stockpile of useful excuses at the ready, ranging from preseason injuries to youth to unfamiliarity with teammates and sets. But this wasn't supposed to be a rebuilding process, was it? You don't hire a 65-year-old coach with health problems for untold millions in order to win years from now, do you? How many $50-million-plus contracts are on the floor? You win NOW.
The biggest worry Knick fans should have is this: Is there even a plan? Or was this just the matter of bringing in big names at big prices and hoping it would work?
For starters, this isn't a Larry Brown team. He made his name coaching—no, teaching—hard-nosed players, not flashy ones. While Allen Iverson made things tick in Philly, they wouldn't have made the Finals without George Lynch, Aaron McKie and Eric Snow. New York is decidedly short on those types, with the exception of Antonio Davis, a throw-in from the Eddy Curry deal who played for Brown in Indiana. Also, Brown doesn't have much faith in rookies—or young players at all, for that matter. Even while his Pistons won a championship and competed for another, No. 2 pick Darko Milicic languished on the bench, seeing only sporadic minutes. And last year, Carlos Delfino and Carlos Arroyo were similarly neglected. As exhibited in the Warriors game, rookies David Lee, Channing Frye and Nate Robinson are among the Knicks most energetic players. In order for them to win, Brown may need to give the kids more time, and sideline some of the $50 million club (among them Curry, Quentin Richardson, Marbury and Jamal Crawford). Will he be willing—or even able, given Isiah Thomas's stake—to do so?
Obviously it's early. Things could turn around. Marbury and Crawford (and Robinson), or at least one of them, could become a traditional point guard. Eddy Curry could learn to rebound. Jerome James could stop fouling everyone. Trevor Ariza could learn to run off screens like LB-coached beanpole predecessors Reggie Miller and Rip Hamilton. Brown could learn to trust Lee, Ariza and training camp surprise Matt Barnes. Anything can happen.
Something'd better.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
A few other NBA thoughts.
• RED AUERBACH. The 88-year-old Celtics president took some potshots at Larry Brown and Phil Jackson at the C's game with the Knicks last night. Pretty much accused them both of taking jobs with built-in excuses, and also claimed that Phil Jax "picked his spots." C'mon Red, you can't have it both ways! One second Phil's taking easy jobs, but when he takes one with a potential lottery team it's a built-in excuse? Starting to sound a bit bitter there, Red.
And begrudging someone else talent? Red took over the Celtics in 1950, then got Bob Cousy handed to him on a silver platter in 1951 (and also picked up Easy Ed Macauley, who he later traded for the rights to one Bill Russell). Of course Red was a great coach. But the Celtics of the '50s and '60s were comparatively more dominant than Shaq's Lakers, or even Jordan's Bulls. Funny, I don't remember ever hearing about Red interviewing with Tri-Cities to have more of a challenge.
• NENE. Opening night has not been nice to the Nuggets. Last year, shooting guard Voshon Lenard was lost for the season when he tore his Achilles in the season opener. And this year power forward Nene, the best single-named player in basketball, tears his ACL and his meniscus in the first QUARTER of the season, and is probably shut down for the remainder of the year. Even worse, he and the Nuggets had recently NOT come to terms on a lucrative extension. At 23, Nene should be back and as good as new next year—and at least Denver has other power forwards who can play—but it's still a tough break for a team looking to do big things this year. Even tougher break for Nene if Kenyon Martin and Marcus Camby have big years (and Melo keeps getting—and playing—bigger) and there's no room for him (and his contract) when he gets back.
• THE KNICKS. I know I've talked about it before, but this is nitroglycerin, right? Young players with overwhelming senses of entitlement, a massive payroll accumulated by a charismatic GM, a fanbase desperate for playoff success, and a crotchety coach who will accept nothing less than perfection (and will probably want the entire team traded in no time). Oh, and a bunch of seemingly talented rookies playing for a coach who's unlikely to give them any time.
What these guys are lacking—and what will absolutely KILL Larry Brown—is fundamentals. There's no traditinal point guard, Eddy Curry is a TERRIBLE rebounder for his size, and no one on the team with the possible exception of 653-year-old Antonio Davis will be mistaken for a hard-nosed defender. This team is not, and won't be, the Pistons. Nor will it be the Pacers or the Sixers (who, along with AI had terrific role players like George Lynch and Aaron McKie). If LB wanted a challenge for his "last" NBA job, he's got one. I'm just not so sure that he's up for it.
• THE NBA CHAMPS. No, not the Spurs, although it's tempting to go on about Tim Duncan's nappy 'fro. I'm talking about the Indiana Pacers, who I picked a month before the season started and I'm sticking with now. They looked a little rusty in their opener, but that'll come off (it'll be interesting to see how they do against the Heat tonight.) I wrote up my reasons in the new KING, but here's the three main ones—Ron Artest, Jermaine O'Neal and Rick Carlisle. They're hungry, they're talented, and I think it's time. Losing last season only makes this season more important. It oughta be fun.
And begrudging someone else talent? Red took over the Celtics in 1950, then got Bob Cousy handed to him on a silver platter in 1951 (and also picked up Easy Ed Macauley, who he later traded for the rights to one Bill Russell). Of course Red was a great coach. But the Celtics of the '50s and '60s were comparatively more dominant than Shaq's Lakers, or even Jordan's Bulls. Funny, I don't remember ever hearing about Red interviewing with Tri-Cities to have more of a challenge.
• NENE. Opening night has not been nice to the Nuggets. Last year, shooting guard Voshon Lenard was lost for the season when he tore his Achilles in the season opener. And this year power forward Nene, the best single-named player in basketball, tears his ACL and his meniscus in the first QUARTER of the season, and is probably shut down for the remainder of the year. Even worse, he and the Nuggets had recently NOT come to terms on a lucrative extension. At 23, Nene should be back and as good as new next year—and at least Denver has other power forwards who can play—but it's still a tough break for a team looking to do big things this year. Even tougher break for Nene if Kenyon Martin and Marcus Camby have big years (and Melo keeps getting—and playing—bigger) and there's no room for him (and his contract) when he gets back.
• THE KNICKS. I know I've talked about it before, but this is nitroglycerin, right? Young players with overwhelming senses of entitlement, a massive payroll accumulated by a charismatic GM, a fanbase desperate for playoff success, and a crotchety coach who will accept nothing less than perfection (and will probably want the entire team traded in no time). Oh, and a bunch of seemingly talented rookies playing for a coach who's unlikely to give them any time.
What these guys are lacking—and what will absolutely KILL Larry Brown—is fundamentals. There's no traditinal point guard, Eddy Curry is a TERRIBLE rebounder for his size, and no one on the team with the possible exception of 653-year-old Antonio Davis will be mistaken for a hard-nosed defender. This team is not, and won't be, the Pistons. Nor will it be the Pacers or the Sixers (who, along with AI had terrific role players like George Lynch and Aaron McKie). If LB wanted a challenge for his "last" NBA job, he's got one. I'm just not so sure that he's up for it.
• THE NBA CHAMPS. No, not the Spurs, although it's tempting to go on about Tim Duncan's nappy 'fro. I'm talking about the Indiana Pacers, who I picked a month before the season started and I'm sticking with now. They looked a little rusty in their opener, but that'll come off (it'll be interesting to see how they do against the Heat tonight.) I wrote up my reasons in the new KING, but here's the three main ones—Ron Artest, Jermaine O'Neal and Rick Carlisle. They're hungry, they're talented, and I think it's time. Losing last season only makes this season more important. It oughta be fun.
Thoughts on the first two days of the NBA season after not watching any of the games.
OK, so I did watch a little of the TNT doubleheader on Tuesday night, but not much. Saw the paper today about the Knicks loss in overtime (giving up 20 points in OT, oops) to the Celtics, and the Nets getting stomped by the Bucks (Michael Redd a career-high 41). Good start for the NYC area teams. Maybe they need to hire taller coaches?
Whoa, SportsCenter has an NBA-themed rap. And I'm thoroughly confused. This, people, is why I don't watch SportsCenter anymore.
Kobe booed lustily in Colorado still, hahaha. And Smush! 'Melo's a beast inside (he's gonna be a power forward someday) and Kobe totally stole Jordan's old fist-after-winning-jumper thing. Ron-Ron in the K1x. Booed in ORLANDO? Why? Like the Pacers new uniforms. 16 points, not too shabby after starting 1-7. And NICE SUIT. Knicks against Celtics. Matt Barnes starting is awesome. Jamal Crawford not starting, not so awesome. Love Antonio Davis in NY, but not as much as Ricky Davis in Boston. P Double with his usual 30, didn't see as much as I'd like of the young fellas (especially Green and Jefferson). And the Knicks worst overtime loss ever—doesn't that have to do with coaching? Wow, does Red Auerbach look OLD. And he SOUNDS old. How does Larry Brown not pick his spots? He just goes where he gets traded? Please.
Love the ongoing Donovan McNabb/Terrell Owens drama in Philly. When I lived in Delaware, I always used to listen to Philly sports talk radio WIP—wish I was there for this. Well, except for the living in Delaware part.
Heat Grizzlies. Wow, nice beard Pau Gasol. Still might wanna get the teeth fixed. Toine with 16 rebounds? Damn. Wuiet night for the Diesel and they still murk the Grizzlies. Pistons 76ers. Must be nice to inherit a championship level team, huh, Flip? Good to see Tayshaun and Rip earning their dollars. Sheed too. Bust the Sixers by 20, and the highlights of a Sixer game without a single AI highlight? Either AI, for that matter. Wild.
Cavs Hornets. LeBron must be fun to throw alley-oops to. Six out of seven threes and 31 points. Ouch. Beating the Hornets by 22. Yikes. And those new teammates are gonna be real good for him this year. LeBron's also WAY too quick to step out on, so if that three's falling with regularity, it's a wrap. Gonna be the best player in the L at 20. Nets Bucks. Michael Redd is an All-Star. Again. And the SportsCenter announcers are downright embarassing. Glad to see T.J. Ford back. And Redd's better off on the Bucks where he can be the first option, rather than in Cleveland where he would have been relegated to the perimeter (literally and figuratively) of the LeBron show. Also, Andrew Bogut looks like Owen Wilson.
Whoa, hockey's back?
Kings Rockets. Sensing a trend here, they only show highlights from the winning teams. Therefore the Kings didn't win. See? The Rockets are mean, though, especiually with Stro. And the Kings have the potential to be a total mess. Is Rick Adelman still there? This could be the end. Mavs Jazz. Deron Williams starts with a 3? Nice. And a beyond half-court 3? Good win for the Jazz. Hey, back to the Lakers. Kobe looks like he's 18 with the short hair and goatee. Phil Jackson looks like Colonel Sanders with the wack soul patch. And, back to the Pacers. Wait, it's a big step that Ron Artest had "no major incidents"? What, someone expected an incident in his FIRST GAME BACK? People are stupid.
Warriors Hawks. Two franchises lookin' for some respect. Maybe a win or two. And yikes. $70 milly(and a couple first-rounders) for JJ and lose by 25? Not good, Hawks. Bobcats Bulls. Kirk better not be that hurt. Chris Duhon is the man. Darius Songaila hit a game-tying, last-second 3? Awesomely absurd. Sorry, Bobcats. Minnesota Portland. Yeah, KG. Washington Toronto. Sorry, T-Dot. What happened with Charlie? Clippers Sonics. Tough break, Seattle. (Um, no full highlights of those games, but the Budweiser Hot Seat with ROBERT WUHL? May have mentioned this before, but SportsCenter fucking sucks now. Absolutely terrible.
Whoa, SportsCenter has an NBA-themed rap. And I'm thoroughly confused. This, people, is why I don't watch SportsCenter anymore.
Kobe booed lustily in Colorado still, hahaha. And Smush! 'Melo's a beast inside (he's gonna be a power forward someday) and Kobe totally stole Jordan's old fist-after-winning-jumper thing. Ron-Ron in the K1x. Booed in ORLANDO? Why? Like the Pacers new uniforms. 16 points, not too shabby after starting 1-7. And NICE SUIT. Knicks against Celtics. Matt Barnes starting is awesome. Jamal Crawford not starting, not so awesome. Love Antonio Davis in NY, but not as much as Ricky Davis in Boston. P Double with his usual 30, didn't see as much as I'd like of the young fellas (especially Green and Jefferson). And the Knicks worst overtime loss ever—doesn't that have to do with coaching? Wow, does Red Auerbach look OLD. And he SOUNDS old. How does Larry Brown not pick his spots? He just goes where he gets traded? Please.
Love the ongoing Donovan McNabb/Terrell Owens drama in Philly. When I lived in Delaware, I always used to listen to Philly sports talk radio WIP—wish I was there for this. Well, except for the living in Delaware part.
Heat Grizzlies. Wow, nice beard Pau Gasol. Still might wanna get the teeth fixed. Toine with 16 rebounds? Damn. Wuiet night for the Diesel and they still murk the Grizzlies. Pistons 76ers. Must be nice to inherit a championship level team, huh, Flip? Good to see Tayshaun and Rip earning their dollars. Sheed too. Bust the Sixers by 20, and the highlights of a Sixer game without a single AI highlight? Either AI, for that matter. Wild.
Cavs Hornets. LeBron must be fun to throw alley-oops to. Six out of seven threes and 31 points. Ouch. Beating the Hornets by 22. Yikes. And those new teammates are gonna be real good for him this year. LeBron's also WAY too quick to step out on, so if that three's falling with regularity, it's a wrap. Gonna be the best player in the L at 20. Nets Bucks. Michael Redd is an All-Star. Again. And the SportsCenter announcers are downright embarassing. Glad to see T.J. Ford back. And Redd's better off on the Bucks where he can be the first option, rather than in Cleveland where he would have been relegated to the perimeter (literally and figuratively) of the LeBron show. Also, Andrew Bogut looks like Owen Wilson.
Whoa, hockey's back?
Kings Rockets. Sensing a trend here, they only show highlights from the winning teams. Therefore the Kings didn't win. See? The Rockets are mean, though, especiually with Stro. And the Kings have the potential to be a total mess. Is Rick Adelman still there? This could be the end. Mavs Jazz. Deron Williams starts with a 3? Nice. And a beyond half-court 3? Good win for the Jazz. Hey, back to the Lakers. Kobe looks like he's 18 with the short hair and goatee. Phil Jackson looks like Colonel Sanders with the wack soul patch. And, back to the Pacers. Wait, it's a big step that Ron Artest had "no major incidents"? What, someone expected an incident in his FIRST GAME BACK? People are stupid.
Warriors Hawks. Two franchises lookin' for some respect. Maybe a win or two. And yikes. $70 milly(and a couple first-rounders) for JJ and lose by 25? Not good, Hawks. Bobcats Bulls. Kirk better not be that hurt. Chris Duhon is the man. Darius Songaila hit a game-tying, last-second 3? Awesomely absurd. Sorry, Bobcats. Minnesota Portland. Yeah, KG. Washington Toronto. Sorry, T-Dot. What happened with Charlie? Clippers Sonics. Tough break, Seattle. (Um, no full highlights of those games, but the Budweiser Hot Seat with ROBERT WUHL? May have mentioned this before, but SportsCenter fucking sucks now. Absolutely terrible.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Just A Note
The Sacramento Kings's gold alternate uniforms are absolutely disgusting and should be stopped by any means necessary. Please.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Dress To Supress
Didn’t the NBA already have a dress code? They’re called uniforms, and the players wear them every time they go on the court. They’re also called warm-ups, and the players wear them at practice and in pre-game warmups. Dictating what players can wear to and from work? That seems more than a little extreme. It’s funny that the League can prevent high schoolers from joining, then at the same time treat the players already in the League like high schoolers.
I guess the biggest question I have is this: what is the dress code going to accomplish? Sure, it’ll appease the season ticket holders/corporate sponsors who theink the Diplomats are those people who get obscene parking privileges. But is it worth kow-towing to them at the expense of potentially alienating the youth? They already can’t afford to GO to the games, now you’re going to make their idols dress like middle management? Nope, I don’t get it.
The same League that can make players wear throwbacks (on “Hardwood Classics” nights) just prohibited them on the bus. Does that make any sense? Wear this on the court when you’re actually doing your job, but when you’re traveling to or from your job? Sorry, not allowed. How is this logical?
Not that I totally agree with the players, either. Marcus Camby’s statement that players should receive stipends for clothes, given the average NBA salary, goes straight past absurd to insulting. But when a fashion issue puts Allen Iverson and Tim Duncan on the same page on the opposing side, well, maybe it’s just a bad idea.
The basics of the deal are no jerseys or t-shirts, no jeans, sneakers or boots, sport coats, slacks and shoes, no chains outside the clothing. What I don’t understand is this—if this was such a problem why did it take this long? Allen Iverson accepted his MVP trophy in an XXXXXL t-shirt and a do-rag. Kobe wore jerseys to the Finals for like 5 games in a row, and it was actually its own story. Whenever Tim Duncan is hurt, he sits on the bench in a baggy, untucked shirt and jeans. I even saw him postgame once in a pair of Vans (don’t tell adidas). Who is this hurting? Who’s scared of the big bad NBA?
About the chains, hey, I’ve never been a big fan of ridiculous jewelry. The diamond industry has always been horrific, and more than enough NBA guys (see: Marbury, Stephon) have been jacked for their jewels. But if the NBA is going to pay these monster salaries, shouldn’t the players be allowed to flaunt it? What’s next, a $50,000 maximum rule on cars you can drive to the game? NO MORE BENTLEYS?
And that’s another issue. I’m not normally one to disparage a rule because of precedent—I don’t think that outlawing assault rifles will open the door for the government to outlaw anything more dangerous than a butter knife—but seriously, where does this go next? If a dress code has been put in because of people worrying that players look too “thuggish” (and I have to believe that’s the reason, does the NBA do away with cornrows next? Make players cover their tattoos?
What it goes back to, to me, is this: Yes, other jobs have dress codes. And the NBA already has one, in the uniforms the players must wear on the court. Given their jobs, and the money they make, the closest comparison to pro athletes are actors and rappers/rock stars. Do the studios and record labels control what their employees wear to work? No. As they shouldn’t. Nor should the NBA.
I guess the biggest question I have is this: what is the dress code going to accomplish? Sure, it’ll appease the season ticket holders/corporate sponsors who theink the Diplomats are those people who get obscene parking privileges. But is it worth kow-towing to them at the expense of potentially alienating the youth? They already can’t afford to GO to the games, now you’re going to make their idols dress like middle management? Nope, I don’t get it.
The same League that can make players wear throwbacks (on “Hardwood Classics” nights) just prohibited them on the bus. Does that make any sense? Wear this on the court when you’re actually doing your job, but when you’re traveling to or from your job? Sorry, not allowed. How is this logical?
Not that I totally agree with the players, either. Marcus Camby’s statement that players should receive stipends for clothes, given the average NBA salary, goes straight past absurd to insulting. But when a fashion issue puts Allen Iverson and Tim Duncan on the same page on the opposing side, well, maybe it’s just a bad idea.
The basics of the deal are no jerseys or t-shirts, no jeans, sneakers or boots, sport coats, slacks and shoes, no chains outside the clothing. What I don’t understand is this—if this was such a problem why did it take this long? Allen Iverson accepted his MVP trophy in an XXXXXL t-shirt and a do-rag. Kobe wore jerseys to the Finals for like 5 games in a row, and it was actually its own story. Whenever Tim Duncan is hurt, he sits on the bench in a baggy, untucked shirt and jeans. I even saw him postgame once in a pair of Vans (don’t tell adidas). Who is this hurting? Who’s scared of the big bad NBA?
About the chains, hey, I’ve never been a big fan of ridiculous jewelry. The diamond industry has always been horrific, and more than enough NBA guys (see: Marbury, Stephon) have been jacked for their jewels. But if the NBA is going to pay these monster salaries, shouldn’t the players be allowed to flaunt it? What’s next, a $50,000 maximum rule on cars you can drive to the game? NO MORE BENTLEYS?
And that’s another issue. I’m not normally one to disparage a rule because of precedent—I don’t think that outlawing assault rifles will open the door for the government to outlaw anything more dangerous than a butter knife—but seriously, where does this go next? If a dress code has been put in because of people worrying that players look too “thuggish” (and I have to believe that’s the reason, does the NBA do away with cornrows next? Make players cover their tattoos?
What it goes back to, to me, is this: Yes, other jobs have dress codes. And the NBA already has one, in the uniforms the players must wear on the court. Given their jobs, and the money they make, the closest comparison to pro athletes are actors and rappers/rock stars. Do the studios and record labels control what their employees wear to work? No. As they shouldn’t. Nor should the NBA.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
We Now Join The NLCS Already In Progress.
Astros up 3-2 in the series, 3-0 in the game through the top of 4, with Roy Oswalt throwing a no-hitter. This could be tough for the Cardinals. If it gets boring (which it will), I may go on extended rants about the new NBA dress code. So consider yourself warned. And while I can't speak for everyone, a Houston/Chicago World Series probably won't be the most interesting series ever. They may have to bring back steroids. Whatever happens, the Series starts on Saturday, which means they should be able to stretch it into November. I so want to live long enough to see a World Series game cancelled because of snow.
Lance Berkman looks like a lumberjack. Or an NFL lineman from the mid '70s.
TONY LARUSSA HAS REMOVED HIS SUNGLASSES!!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!! What the hell's with the sunglasses at night anyway? You don't look mysterious Tony, you look stupid. (And if it's for glare, why does he take them off before going to the mound?) And he put in a rookie? Yikes. Good luck, kid! I mean, uh, good job.
So much for the no-hitter. Good job, Bengie. Um, I mean other Molina. Other-other Molina, I guess.
Nice call, ump. Nope, no need for instant replay in baseball. Not at all.
Conversations with pitching coaches < watching paint dry.
You know, if the networks insist on talking to the managers during the games, can't they ask the pressing questions? Like, "Hey Tony, why do you wear sunglasses all the time when you don't have to?"
Correction: Lance Berkman looks like John Smoltz on steroids. Baseball players are a bunch of scruffy bastards.
Much as I hate baseball sometimes, the suicide squeeze is rad. 4-1, 'Stros.
Oh, forget this. I'll come back with the NBA dress code later.
Lance Berkman looks like a lumberjack. Or an NFL lineman from the mid '70s.
TONY LARUSSA HAS REMOVED HIS SUNGLASSES!!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!! What the hell's with the sunglasses at night anyway? You don't look mysterious Tony, you look stupid. (And if it's for glare, why does he take them off before going to the mound?) And he put in a rookie? Yikes. Good luck, kid! I mean, uh, good job.
So much for the no-hitter. Good job, Bengie. Um, I mean other Molina. Other-other Molina, I guess.
Nice call, ump. Nope, no need for instant replay in baseball. Not at all.
Conversations with pitching coaches < watching paint dry.
You know, if the networks insist on talking to the managers during the games, can't they ask the pressing questions? Like, "Hey Tony, why do you wear sunglasses all the time when you don't have to?"
Correction: Lance Berkman looks like John Smoltz on steroids. Baseball players are a bunch of scruffy bastards.
Much as I hate baseball sometimes, the suicide squeeze is rad. 4-1, 'Stros.
Oh, forget this. I'll come back with the NBA dress code later.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
ALCS Game 3, Part 2
BENGIE!!! I just can't help but think of the dog, but for the life of me I can't think of the name of any of the Benji books/movies.
Conversations with pitching coaches: Do I smell a new Mitch Albom book? I also think the market is SCREAMING for "The Five People You'll Meet In Hell." Because, let's face it, that's where most of us are headed anyway. Might as well be prepared, right?
Maybe the Angels are right to not be concerned about their pitching, because with the way John Garland's pitching, 5-0 may as well be 5,000-0. Although God knows 5,000-0 would be pretty rad (even though the game wouldn't end until next June). Maybe this Gregg guy will be better, though. Not that it matters.
The Pepsi Fan Cam is even worse than Pepsi itself, if that's even possible. The discussion about the Pepsi Fan Cam trumps them both, though. Let's drool over the girls in the stands! It's Southern California, guys, they're not so unusual.
I can root against the Angels simply because of the existence of the Rally Monkey, right?
Fireworks for a home run that cuts the Sox lead to three. I'm sure that they're scared now. Nice shot, though.
OK, Juan Uribe falling into his own dugout after striking out looking is now officially my favorite moment of the 2005 baseball postseason, just beating out A-Rod's hitting into that 9th inning Game Five double play.
I believe I referred to "Trading Spouses" as "Trading Places" earlier. Which doesn't change the fact that the bitch is completely insane.
And that was a very insightful conversation with John Garland's girlfriend. Especially Chris Myers asking if they talked today. Um, yeah, I'm sure they don't LIVE together or anything.
Baseball diaries are hard. Not enough action, and—wow, Bengie Molina's haircut is AWESOME. Nevermind.
Kevin Gregg looks more than a little like Private Pyle, methinks. And if he throws over to first one more time, I'M going to get a Section 8.
You know, going back to the A-Rod/Guerrero commercial, A-Rod WOULD steal the Pepsi after losing the contest. What a jerk.
Love Brendan Donnelly's delivery, so fast and herky-jerky (memories of Charles Kerfeld and Rob Dibble). And Everett's beard.
Major League baseball is like a nature preserve for goatees.
John Garland is, judging from his girl, going to be a very happy man tonight. As he probably is most nights.
Lou Piniella sounds disconcertingly like our beloved President sometimes. And, given his baseball background and his predilection for inane pronouncements, is there any reason to believe that George W. Bush COULDN'T become a baseball commentator? He'd be better at that than he is at this president thing, that's for sure.
Bottom of the ninth! Finally! (It's 11:03. And it's still raining here.)
1, 2, 3. And goodnight.
Conversations with pitching coaches: Do I smell a new Mitch Albom book? I also think the market is SCREAMING for "The Five People You'll Meet In Hell." Because, let's face it, that's where most of us are headed anyway. Might as well be prepared, right?
Maybe the Angels are right to not be concerned about their pitching, because with the way John Garland's pitching, 5-0 may as well be 5,000-0. Although God knows 5,000-0 would be pretty rad (even though the game wouldn't end until next June). Maybe this Gregg guy will be better, though. Not that it matters.
The Pepsi Fan Cam is even worse than Pepsi itself, if that's even possible. The discussion about the Pepsi Fan Cam trumps them both, though. Let's drool over the girls in the stands! It's Southern California, guys, they're not so unusual.
I can root against the Angels simply because of the existence of the Rally Monkey, right?
Fireworks for a home run that cuts the Sox lead to three. I'm sure that they're scared now. Nice shot, though.
OK, Juan Uribe falling into his own dugout after striking out looking is now officially my favorite moment of the 2005 baseball postseason, just beating out A-Rod's hitting into that 9th inning Game Five double play.
I believe I referred to "Trading Spouses" as "Trading Places" earlier. Which doesn't change the fact that the bitch is completely insane.
And that was a very insightful conversation with John Garland's girlfriend. Especially Chris Myers asking if they talked today. Um, yeah, I'm sure they don't LIVE together or anything.
Baseball diaries are hard. Not enough action, and—wow, Bengie Molina's haircut is AWESOME. Nevermind.
Kevin Gregg looks more than a little like Private Pyle, methinks. And if he throws over to first one more time, I'M going to get a Section 8.
You know, going back to the A-Rod/Guerrero commercial, A-Rod WOULD steal the Pepsi after losing the contest. What a jerk.
Love Brendan Donnelly's delivery, so fast and herky-jerky (memories of Charles Kerfeld and Rob Dibble). And Everett's beard.
Major League baseball is like a nature preserve for goatees.
John Garland is, judging from his girl, going to be a very happy man tonight. As he probably is most nights.
Lou Piniella sounds disconcertingly like our beloved President sometimes. And, given his baseball background and his predilection for inane pronouncements, is there any reason to believe that George W. Bush COULDN'T become a baseball commentator? He'd be better at that than he is at this president thing, that's for sure.
Bottom of the ninth! Finally! (It's 11:03. And it's still raining here.)
1, 2, 3. And goodnight.
ALCS Game 3, Part 1
Well, it's either baseball or "I, Robot" on HBO Latino (it has to be better in Spanish than it is in English). The big question, of course, is whether I can survive the pregame show. Having grown used to the brilliance of Kenny, Ernie and Charles, Kevin Kennedy and the fake Kyra Sedgwick are hard to deal with. Another ten or so rows of scrolling graphics would blank them out completely, which wouldn't be a bad idea. Of course it would obscure the omnipresent Chevrolet logos, God forbid. But seriously, these are the best people they could find for the pregame show before the League Championship Serieses? What. does ESPN already have everyone else in the universe under contract? It's insulting, really. They have absolutely no chemistry at all, maybe less.
Wow, tomorrow's games are at 4 and 7:30 Eastern? Way to keep the early games going, MLB.
When they show the "get ready" promos, I don't know who half the players are. I'm not alone in this, right? I may be a lapsed baseball fan, but even if I weren't, would I know the players on the White Sox and Angels by face alone? I highly doubt it.
I'm doing everything short of sticking my fingers in my ears and chanting "la la la la la la" to ignore the pregame show. Even Shoeless Joe's bat looked embarassed. Although wow, that "Trading Spaces" psycho makes them look downright awesome. Good thing I don't usually watch network television.
(Fill in useless blather here from McCarver, Buck and Piniella.)
A Bruce Willis guest appearance on "That '70s Show"? Jesus. I can only assume that when Demi and Ashton inevitably split up, it'll be Ashton and Bruce, right?
Lackey, the Angels best pitcher, just gave up a leadoff hit. Good times. Nice hair, too. Barry Melrose would be proud. Iguchi with the hara-kiri bunt to move the runner. Ha ha, Lackey sucks tonight. Nothing like three runs in a third of an inning to get things going. I guess there isn't much comparable in other sports to a hanging curve. Maybe a pass that floats in football, but nothing in basketball at least. There's also not much better than being a starting pitcher whose staked to a lead before even taking his jacket off. It ain't good for Fox, though—a 3-0 first-inning lead with some fairly uninteresting (to the casual fan) teams? "I, Robot" en Espanol is sounding better and better.
Did I just hear that a SLEEPING pill has a side effect of DROWSINESS?? NO WAY!!!! That was a joke just to make sure people were paying attention, right?
Piniella: "Clearly a good-looking young pitcher, though." Whoa, Lou, take care of that stuff on your own time. John Garland (I wanted to call him Winston—God, I'm old) is mad tall, though. Nice touch for a big man. AND HE WALKS CHONE FIGGINS!!!!! Sorry, but I just love that name. I can't get over how much Vladimir Guerrero (I absolutely refuse to call him "Vladi") looks like Darius Miles. Sort of.
If Lackey gets tagged any harder, Jessica is leaving him for sure. And with Joe Crede up, it's mullet vs. mullet. Hard to believe that kids aren't as into baseball as they are into basketball or football. It's Pearl Jam pitching to Alice In Chains. Or Creed, I guess.
The Catching Molina Brothers are back in action, of course. Well, Bengie is. What are the chances that a family has THREE children who grow up to be major-league catchers? Are the parents proud? Ashamed? Confused? And hold on, they're all named Benjamin (Bengamin)? That's just silly.
Re, Jose Uribe: Players in other sports need to keep huge clumps of tobacco in their mouths, too. Would Spike Lee have taken that many verbal shots at Reggie Miller if he thought he'd get spanged with a load of chaw every time Reggie ran by? I doubt it. Sunflower seeds would, of course, be a healthy alternative.
I really can't take the Fox sound effects anymore. They're downright unspeakable.
Not sure what's worse, Joe Buck's saying "All about the Benjamins" (and it being sorta funny), or the horrific cover of "We're Not Gonna Take It" in a Wendy's commercial. Hmm. Sorry Joe, Wendy's takes it. They just haven't been the same since Dave Thomas died.
Oh my God! Marlon Brando is alive and sitting behind the White Sox's on-deck circle!
You can't not love Carl Everett.
I know it's the wrong Simpson, but I just thought I'd mention that Lackey looks out of synch tonight. Sorry.
I've learned more about Lou Piniella tonight than I have about anyone on either team and no, ladies and gentlemen, that's not a good thing. P.S. Shattered bats are awesome. Not enough things break in other sports. (Backboards are too infrequent and limbs are too sickening.)
Have these games in particular been boring or is it baseball on TV in general? I can't decide. Maybe they should go to a five-inning, six-out-per format to cut down on the commercials? I also like the idea of alternate telecasts on Cinemax with rampant cursing and plenty of gratuitous nudity.
It's Juan Uribe? My bad. I should be probably making time notifications with these notes, but that's too hard.
You know, it's not helping that the commercials themselves completely suck. I don't think there's been a good one tonight yet. I know it's not the Super Bowl, but come on, people! Sell me something! (Besides "The Simpsons," I'm already sold on that.)
Either Mike Scioscia's hat or his head is too small.
Lackey continues to get hammered. If he's the Angels best pitcher, I hope they enjoy their time in the ALCS, because they're not going to the World Series unless they buy tickets. And, um, Piniella: "What a positive impact these Japanese players have made on Major League baseball." Yeah, Lou. Just like those blacks, right?
Still lots of red in those stands. If the Angels somehow wind up playing the Cardinals, either someone will have to adopt a different color or no one will know who the hell they're rooting for (or which stadium they're in). Also, the Bloods would be psyched.
Incidentally, the little pop-out timer in Lackey popped around the first inning. The Sox seem to be enjoying BP, though, so why take him out now? Hell it's only a five-run lead.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Wow, tomorrow's games are at 4 and 7:30 Eastern? Way to keep the early games going, MLB.
When they show the "get ready" promos, I don't know who half the players are. I'm not alone in this, right? I may be a lapsed baseball fan, but even if I weren't, would I know the players on the White Sox and Angels by face alone? I highly doubt it.
I'm doing everything short of sticking my fingers in my ears and chanting "la la la la la la" to ignore the pregame show. Even Shoeless Joe's bat looked embarassed. Although wow, that "Trading Spaces" psycho makes them look downright awesome. Good thing I don't usually watch network television.
(Fill in useless blather here from McCarver, Buck and Piniella.)
A Bruce Willis guest appearance on "That '70s Show"? Jesus. I can only assume that when Demi and Ashton inevitably split up, it'll be Ashton and Bruce, right?
Lackey, the Angels best pitcher, just gave up a leadoff hit. Good times. Nice hair, too. Barry Melrose would be proud. Iguchi with the hara-kiri bunt to move the runner. Ha ha, Lackey sucks tonight. Nothing like three runs in a third of an inning to get things going. I guess there isn't much comparable in other sports to a hanging curve. Maybe a pass that floats in football, but nothing in basketball at least. There's also not much better than being a starting pitcher whose staked to a lead before even taking his jacket off. It ain't good for Fox, though—a 3-0 first-inning lead with some fairly uninteresting (to the casual fan) teams? "I, Robot" en Espanol is sounding better and better.
Did I just hear that a SLEEPING pill has a side effect of DROWSINESS?? NO WAY!!!! That was a joke just to make sure people were paying attention, right?
Piniella: "Clearly a good-looking young pitcher, though." Whoa, Lou, take care of that stuff on your own time. John Garland (I wanted to call him Winston—God, I'm old) is mad tall, though. Nice touch for a big man. AND HE WALKS CHONE FIGGINS!!!!! Sorry, but I just love that name. I can't get over how much Vladimir Guerrero (I absolutely refuse to call him "Vladi") looks like Darius Miles. Sort of.
If Lackey gets tagged any harder, Jessica is leaving him for sure. And with Joe Crede up, it's mullet vs. mullet. Hard to believe that kids aren't as into baseball as they are into basketball or football. It's Pearl Jam pitching to Alice In Chains. Or Creed, I guess.
The Catching Molina Brothers are back in action, of course. Well, Bengie is. What are the chances that a family has THREE children who grow up to be major-league catchers? Are the parents proud? Ashamed? Confused? And hold on, they're all named Benjamin (Bengamin)? That's just silly.
Re, Jose Uribe: Players in other sports need to keep huge clumps of tobacco in their mouths, too. Would Spike Lee have taken that many verbal shots at Reggie Miller if he thought he'd get spanged with a load of chaw every time Reggie ran by? I doubt it. Sunflower seeds would, of course, be a healthy alternative.
I really can't take the Fox sound effects anymore. They're downright unspeakable.
Not sure what's worse, Joe Buck's saying "All about the Benjamins" (and it being sorta funny), or the horrific cover of "We're Not Gonna Take It" in a Wendy's commercial. Hmm. Sorry Joe, Wendy's takes it. They just haven't been the same since Dave Thomas died.
Oh my God! Marlon Brando is alive and sitting behind the White Sox's on-deck circle!
You can't not love Carl Everett.
I know it's the wrong Simpson, but I just thought I'd mention that Lackey looks out of synch tonight. Sorry.
I've learned more about Lou Piniella tonight than I have about anyone on either team and no, ladies and gentlemen, that's not a good thing. P.S. Shattered bats are awesome. Not enough things break in other sports. (Backboards are too infrequent and limbs are too sickening.)
Have these games in particular been boring or is it baseball on TV in general? I can't decide. Maybe they should go to a five-inning, six-out-per format to cut down on the commercials? I also like the idea of alternate telecasts on Cinemax with rampant cursing and plenty of gratuitous nudity.
It's Juan Uribe? My bad. I should be probably making time notifications with these notes, but that's too hard.
You know, it's not helping that the commercials themselves completely suck. I don't think there's been a good one tonight yet. I know it's not the Super Bowl, but come on, people! Sell me something! (Besides "The Simpsons," I'm already sold on that.)
Either Mike Scioscia's hat or his head is too small.
Lackey continues to get hammered. If he's the Angels best pitcher, I hope they enjoy their time in the ALCS, because they're not going to the World Series unless they buy tickets. And, um, Piniella: "What a positive impact these Japanese players have made on Major League baseball." Yeah, Lou. Just like those blacks, right?
Still lots of red in those stands. If the Angels somehow wind up playing the Cardinals, either someone will have to adopt a different color or no one will know who the hell they're rooting for (or which stadium they're in). Also, the Bloods would be psyched.
Incidentally, the little pop-out timer in Lackey popped around the first inning. The Sox seem to be enjoying BP, though, so why take him out now? Hell it's only a five-run lead.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Friday, October 14, 2005
ALCS Game 3 (Pregame)
This rain on the East Coast is just out of control. It's been going strong for either five or six days straight—I can't even remember anymore—so far, and it might end tomorrow, or it might go until Monday. If it stops tomorrow, that's fine. But if it rains until Monday, I may go insane. Or start collecting two of each animal on the planet, which might be viewed the same as going insane anyway.
Bought the Dangerdoom record today, which is HIGHLY recommended. MF Doom x Danger Mouse x Adult Swim. Only listened to it the once, but it's pretty amazing. There's a Doom/Ghostface collabo, which was long overdue, and just plenty of Doomosity. The only complaint I have is bleeped-out curses on the first track (I think that was the only one) which are sort of annoying. And I don't think I accidentally got the censored version, either. In fact, I doubt there are two versions.
The game tonight is starting at 8 again, despite being on the West Coast. Quite different from the first round, which had one of the Padres games starting at 11 Eastern. A baseball playoff game starting at 11 Eastern? Who does MLB think they are, the NBA? Actually, the only way to trivialize the first round more would have been to broadcast the games on the Lifetime network.
Leading up to the game I'm watching the end of "Evil Alien Conquerors" on Showtime Next. It's seriously one of the worst movies ever, and if you ever watch the entire thing you'll find yourself questioning the continued existence of the human race. Put it this way—Tori Spelling plays a pretty big role in it and she doesn't even get credited. And it's not like Tori doesn't need the credits. Of course now I've watched the whole thing roughly twice, which doesn't say much for the continued existence of me. This movie could actually warrant an entire post, especially the fourth-rate Jack Black who plays Croker (whose name is Tyler Labine—he also played John Belushi in "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of 'Mork & Mindy'").
On to the game.
Bought the Dangerdoom record today, which is HIGHLY recommended. MF Doom x Danger Mouse x Adult Swim. Only listened to it the once, but it's pretty amazing. There's a Doom/Ghostface collabo, which was long overdue, and just plenty of Doomosity. The only complaint I have is bleeped-out curses on the first track (I think that was the only one) which are sort of annoying. And I don't think I accidentally got the censored version, either. In fact, I doubt there are two versions.
The game tonight is starting at 8 again, despite being on the West Coast. Quite different from the first round, which had one of the Padres games starting at 11 Eastern. A baseball playoff game starting at 11 Eastern? Who does MLB think they are, the NBA? Actually, the only way to trivialize the first round more would have been to broadcast the games on the Lifetime network.
Leading up to the game I'm watching the end of "Evil Alien Conquerors" on Showtime Next. It's seriously one of the worst movies ever, and if you ever watch the entire thing you'll find yourself questioning the continued existence of the human race. Put it this way—Tori Spelling plays a pretty big role in it and she doesn't even get credited. And it's not like Tori doesn't need the credits. Of course now I've watched the whole thing roughly twice, which doesn't say much for the continued existence of me. This movie could actually warrant an entire post, especially the fourth-rate Jack Black who plays Croker (whose name is Tyler Labine—he also played John Belushi in "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of 'Mork & Mindy'").
On to the game.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Some CS, Game 1 Or 2, Diary
Um, interestingly enough, Fox and FX are both showing the same telecast right now, with no word as to which game will be on which channel. Awesome. I fully intend to watch some of the Cards/Astros tonight, assuming it ends up on one of the channels. Not that I hate the Yankees or anything, but I hope Andy Pettitte throws a perfect game. (That also has nothing to do with the fact that my ex-girlfriend is from St. Louis.) For the record, Kevin Kennedy on two channels is two channels too many. Not really feeling the fake Kyra Sedgwick, either. CAN SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHAT CHANNEL I SHOULD BE ON, PLEASE? (I should also mention that I'm probably only keeping this tonight until my girlfriend gets here, which means it may cut off rather abruptly. My bad.)
Wow, a snippet of the Pixies? An old band, which is par for the course, but a GOOD one? The sky is falling!
Incidentally, I just flicked back and forth, and there are NOT the same commercials on each channel. Just so you know.
All three Molina brothers are playing at once? Rad. But what the heck is that sun thing on Craig Biggio's hat?
Commercial note: Yes, you actually can smell Taco Bell from outside. But usually that's AFTER someone's eaten it.
I still have no idea which channel either game is going to be on. Thank God that I don't really care about any of the four teams. I suppose I'll find out shortly. Right now I'm gambling on FX for the NLCS. Come on, baby.
I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!!!!!
Yes!!! I win!!! Um, yeah, I thrive for small victories. This announcing crew scares me more than the McCarver/Piniella/Buck group, actually. I sense a lot of flicking back and forth. Also, Bob Brenly looks preserved. And I think he just said "the team that can manufacture runs is the team that's going to win." Jesus. No wonder why I don't watch baseball anymore. Public Enemy was nice there, though. The Pixies, P.E., Bob Brenly, the Cardinals—is this 1988? Where's John Tudor?
Van Hagar. Yep, it's '88. And they wonder why the kids aren't as into baseball anymore.
Lotta red in that stadium. Drop a Crip in there and watch him flip out.
Chris Carpenter's hat is disgusting. Not as bad as John Wetteland's used to be, but then again I've seen subway cars cleaner than John Wetteland's hat. For the record, it was touted at the end of the ALCS Game One that you wouldn't miss a minute of either game tonight because they were on different channels. As a part of the TiVO-less world, I'd like to ask the geniuses at Fox/MLB how, exactly, that's possible when both games start at the same time?
Jim Edmonds and hos over-the-shoulder catches. Bet that miss hurt a lot. Kind of hard to call it a "defensive mistake," though, I think.
OK, this Bud Light commercial with "the Bomber" is an insult to baseball, Babe Ruth, history, humanity, and other things that I just haven't thought of yet. Also, Bud Light tastes like cat piss, and Babe Ruth would have sooner drank the juice from one of his popped hemmorhoids than a Bud Light. Or anything with "Light" in the name, for that matter.
Can't really overstate this enough, but has anyone out there actually tasted Bud? Do they NEED a "Light" variety? Seriously, it's like having Evian Light.
Guess there won't be a perfect game tonight. Bummer. Way to ruin my dreams, Eckstein. You could have at least waited until the second pitch to add some drama.
Bet Jim Edmonds is psyched to have a dirty uniform already. Boosts the eBay value, and makes it look like he's really trying. Sure, he missed the ball, but it's not like he gave up a run or anything.
Despite the fact that this game is on FX, it's a Fox broadcast, so the same sound effects are in use. Thank God. And apparently the White Sox are winning already, which is nice if you're a fan of that staid franchise. And having seen the highlight, how does a PITCHER miss a throw to first by that much? Somewhere, Rick Ankiel is laughing.
Hey, I might be a lapsed baseball fan, but I DO know this much—do NOT pitch to a guy named Reggie in October. 2-0, Cards. Way to go, Pettitte. Jerk. Nice socks.
Meatnormous, meatnormous. No.
I'm not gonna last much longer tonight. The commercials are worse than the game, and the game pretty much sucks.
In fact...
Wow, a snippet of the Pixies? An old band, which is par for the course, but a GOOD one? The sky is falling!
Incidentally, I just flicked back and forth, and there are NOT the same commercials on each channel. Just so you know.
All three Molina brothers are playing at once? Rad. But what the heck is that sun thing on Craig Biggio's hat?
Commercial note: Yes, you actually can smell Taco Bell from outside. But usually that's AFTER someone's eaten it.
I still have no idea which channel either game is going to be on. Thank God that I don't really care about any of the four teams. I suppose I'll find out shortly. Right now I'm gambling on FX for the NLCS. Come on, baby.
I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!!!!!
Yes!!! I win!!! Um, yeah, I thrive for small victories. This announcing crew scares me more than the McCarver/Piniella/Buck group, actually. I sense a lot of flicking back and forth. Also, Bob Brenly looks preserved. And I think he just said "the team that can manufacture runs is the team that's going to win." Jesus. No wonder why I don't watch baseball anymore. Public Enemy was nice there, though. The Pixies, P.E., Bob Brenly, the Cardinals—is this 1988? Where's John Tudor?
Van Hagar. Yep, it's '88. And they wonder why the kids aren't as into baseball anymore.
Lotta red in that stadium. Drop a Crip in there and watch him flip out.
Chris Carpenter's hat is disgusting. Not as bad as John Wetteland's used to be, but then again I've seen subway cars cleaner than John Wetteland's hat. For the record, it was touted at the end of the ALCS Game One that you wouldn't miss a minute of either game tonight because they were on different channels. As a part of the TiVO-less world, I'd like to ask the geniuses at Fox/MLB how, exactly, that's possible when both games start at the same time?
Jim Edmonds and hos over-the-shoulder catches. Bet that miss hurt a lot. Kind of hard to call it a "defensive mistake," though, I think.
OK, this Bud Light commercial with "the Bomber" is an insult to baseball, Babe Ruth, history, humanity, and other things that I just haven't thought of yet. Also, Bud Light tastes like cat piss, and Babe Ruth would have sooner drank the juice from one of his popped hemmorhoids than a Bud Light. Or anything with "Light" in the name, for that matter.
Can't really overstate this enough, but has anyone out there actually tasted Bud? Do they NEED a "Light" variety? Seriously, it's like having Evian Light.
Guess there won't be a perfect game tonight. Bummer. Way to ruin my dreams, Eckstein. You could have at least waited until the second pitch to add some drama.
Bet Jim Edmonds is psyched to have a dirty uniform already. Boosts the eBay value, and makes it look like he's really trying. Sure, he missed the ball, but it's not like he gave up a run or anything.
Despite the fact that this game is on FX, it's a Fox broadcast, so the same sound effects are in use. Thank God. And apparently the White Sox are winning already, which is nice if you're a fan of that staid franchise. And having seen the highlight, how does a PITCHER miss a throw to first by that much? Somewhere, Rick Ankiel is laughing.
Hey, I might be a lapsed baseball fan, but I DO know this much—do NOT pitch to a guy named Reggie in October. 2-0, Cards. Way to go, Pettitte. Jerk. Nice socks.
Meatnormous, meatnormous. No.
I'm not gonna last much longer tonight. The commercials are worse than the game, and the game pretty much sucks.
In fact...
Oi! Football* fans!
Nothing much today (for now, at least). Just that, if you're a fan of English football*, do yourself a favor. Go to the link below, and start having the Fiver delivered to your inbox. It gets sent out at 5 p.m. British time (which means we get it here on the East Coast around noon). It's probably the best daily sportswriting, bar none.
http://football.guardian.co.uk/fiver/
* football = soccer
http://football.guardian.co.uk/fiver/
* football = soccer
ALCS Game 1, Part 2
The only thing better than a miked manager is a miked pitching coach. Lou: "Bud is an intelligent guy, and he handles himself quite well." Um, as is roughly 75 percent of the world.
New catcher's helmets/masks are kind of cool, I guess, but I still miss the backwards batting helmet and separate mask. Then again, I also miss the bullpen cars with the big hats as roofs and Dave Kingman, so that doesn't mean much.
Incidentally, the only thing I've exclaimed while drinking a Coors Light was "Ugh! Isn't there ANYTHING else?" Guess that wouldn't make for a very positive commercial, though. Also, the liquid metal impalas are WAY cooler than the new Chevy Impala which shouldn't be bought by ANYONE except rental fleets and police forces.
The Angels helmets actually look like they're covered in melted marshmallows. Half S'mores? Or maybe creme brulee?
I can't decide whether the actual game is boring or I just don't care much. I'm guess it's a combination of both.
I absolutely love that two Molina brothers both catch for the Angels. What the hell are the odds of that? (The fact that the starter is named "Bengie" is even better.)
(On the phone...please hold.)
OK, back. Two outs, top of the 7th. Steee-rike three! Contreras is pretty damn nasty (if a little wild). Can see why he throws so many wild pitches, why he gets stolen on so much AND why he's so good. And it's all the same reason. He also looks a little like Shawn Kemp, which is awesome.
How exactly is August Busch IV or whatever a "brewmaster"? Was Dave Thomas a chef?
It's the bottom of the seventh and Aaron Rowand came up, and I assumed he was a pinch hitter. Nope, apparently he's been playing all game. News to me. And Byrd plunks him in the back with the first pitch. Well, at least he didn't walk him, right?
You hardly ever see a baseball player who's entirely clean-shaven. Damn late starts.
Wait, is Tim Raines still known as "Rock"?
The Flintstones in a Midas commercial. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
McCarver, Piniella and Buck are slowly morphing into one, überannoying announcer.
Paying attention to baseball on TV is hard.
OK, I'm done.
New catcher's helmets/masks are kind of cool, I guess, but I still miss the backwards batting helmet and separate mask. Then again, I also miss the bullpen cars with the big hats as roofs and Dave Kingman, so that doesn't mean much.
Incidentally, the only thing I've exclaimed while drinking a Coors Light was "Ugh! Isn't there ANYTHING else?" Guess that wouldn't make for a very positive commercial, though. Also, the liquid metal impalas are WAY cooler than the new Chevy Impala which shouldn't be bought by ANYONE except rental fleets and police forces.
The Angels helmets actually look like they're covered in melted marshmallows. Half S'mores? Or maybe creme brulee?
I can't decide whether the actual game is boring or I just don't care much. I'm guess it's a combination of both.
I absolutely love that two Molina brothers both catch for the Angels. What the hell are the odds of that? (The fact that the starter is named "Bengie" is even better.)
(On the phone...please hold.)
OK, back. Two outs, top of the 7th. Steee-rike three! Contreras is pretty damn nasty (if a little wild). Can see why he throws so many wild pitches, why he gets stolen on so much AND why he's so good. And it's all the same reason. He also looks a little like Shawn Kemp, which is awesome.
How exactly is August Busch IV or whatever a "brewmaster"? Was Dave Thomas a chef?
It's the bottom of the seventh and Aaron Rowand came up, and I assumed he was a pinch hitter. Nope, apparently he's been playing all game. News to me. And Byrd plunks him in the back with the first pitch. Well, at least he didn't walk him, right?
You hardly ever see a baseball player who's entirely clean-shaven. Damn late starts.
Wait, is Tim Raines still known as "Rock"?
The Flintstones in a Midas commercial. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
McCarver, Piniella and Buck are slowly morphing into one, überannoying announcer.
Paying attention to baseball on TV is hard.
OK, I'm done.
ALCS Game 1, Part 1
Oh, what the hell. I'm watching this thing for whatever reason. I might as well keep some sort of a running diary. As always, apologies to Bill Simmons. Seeing that I don't really care about the Angels, the White Sox OR baseball in general, this has the potential to get REALLY far off track. Well, we can hope. Anyways, I'm better off watching this than "The Day After Tomorrow" again.
P.S. I'm so happy the Yankees lost. Ha ha. Don't tell anyone. Also, just a thought: if Bernie Williams had been playing centerfield, he probably wouldn't have been fast enough to get to right and collide with Gary Sheffield, and Sheff might have caught that ball, and the Yankees might have won. Again, ha ha.
Feeling the White Sox's sleeveless pinstriped jerseys (with black shirts underneath). Also, I absolutely love the black Sox hat (does Dr. Dre get royalties?), but I absolutely hate the fact that it made damn near every other team adopt a black alternate uniform. Black Mets hats? Ugh. That said, given the popularity of black hats, is anyone out there rocking umpirehats? That would be gangsta.
Scooter the animated baseball sucks.
Why do all the Angels's helmets look like they spent too much time in a Betty Crocker E-Z Bake Oven? Stupid pine tar.
Baseball announcers have WAY too much time between pitches and hitters and the like to pontificate on anything and everything. An alternate audio track that just contained the real sounds of the stadium would be quite welcome. And why the heck are there three people in the booth anyway? How much analysis do we really need?
Fox Sports graphics are unspeakably awful. The sound effects are even worse. What ever happened to less is more?
Vladimir Guerrero's hair is rad, but I still don't believe he shattered the moon. And A-Rod shouldn't be allowed to be seen hitting in the post-season, even in commercials.
Paul Byrd looks a lot like Beecher from Oz when he was at his most ragged.
Not sure which is creepier, the Burger King or those heart-attack inducing breakfast sandwiches he's pushing. Mmmm, a thousand-calorie breakfast sandwich with almost all of it coming from pork fat. Where do I sign up?
The opposition is 28 for 30 in stolen bases against Jose Contreras? How is that even possible? Does he have a habit of catching the ball on its way back up the middle or something?
Chone Figgins is possibly the best name in professional sports. Top 10 for sure. The fact that he can basically play any position is a bonus.
Have I mentioned how bad the sound effects are? I know it would put someone out of work to lose them, but it would also make the telecast a lot more enjoyable. It's a baseball game, not Top Gun.
Correction: Paul Byrd looks like Beecher after he spent a month in solitary. No-hitter through 2, though. Woo-hoo!!
Running into the second baseman/shortstop to break up a double-play must be the most fun thing to do in baseball.
Garrett Anderson has a clean helmet? What's wrong with him?
I'd like to petition that the Knicks be herefore known as the Manhattan Knicks of New York.
Pete Coors is a creepy bastard. Also, how can a beer taste "cold"? Is that what he said?
Love when the stupid montage of jittery clips makes them miss the first pitch of an inning.
"Paul Byrd is like a crafty lefthander who's just right handed." Excuse me? What the hell does that mean? Actually, it means that his next pitch gets rocked out of the park by some mulleted White Sock. Maybe he SHOULD try throwing with his left. P.S. So much for the no-hitter.
Ever since that inane statement, Byrd is getting killed. Home run, hard drive straight to Anderson, base hit up the middle.
Wait, Tim Raines is the Sox first base coach? Awesome. Byrd gives up another rip. Jermaine Dye coming up. He might not last the inning at this rate. Too bad Bartolo Colon is already out for the series with strained fat.
OK, he lasted the inning. And thank God it's over, because the platitudes were getting dangerous.
Commercials during sporting events are so predictable it's nauseating. Not a male between 18 and 35? Sorry! By the end of this game I'll be praying for a tampon commercial. And I won't get it.
Apparently Lou Piniella is in charge of obviousness tonight. "When I look for catchers, I look for ones that win baseball games." Good theory, Lou. When I look for apples, I look for ones that aren't rotten and full of worms. We should hang out.
Coors, Applebees, State Farm, Land Rover, Midas, Citibank, "Prison Break." Put 'em all together and what do you got? A suburb I don't want to live in!
Someone really needs to point out that, hectic travel schedule or not, apparently Paul Byrd hasn't slept since October of '95.
Interviewing managers in mid-game is really, really stupid. The next time one says something insightful will be the first. And they cut away from the actual game to show this stuff?
Now batting, Carl Everett, who still doesn't believe in dinosaurs. And Tim McCarver just called the White Sox—the only team in the majors that ever wore SHORTS as part of their uniform—staid. Why, because they're white?
The Angels dugout jackets are really nice. Surprised they haven't mentioned where to get them yet.
"One of the secrets for Paul Byrd today is that he hasn't given up a walk yet"? What? Walks are a secret? And he's also given up a home run and a couple of smash hits (and two runs). All in all, walks would have been better, don't you think? Guys are making SERIOUS contact, here. And for the record, Carl Everett may not believe in dinosaurs, but he sort of runs like one.
"In fact, Yazstremski was one of the best hitters I ever saw in baseball." Don't mean to keep picking on you, Lou, but did you really need to add "in baseball"? We probably would have figured it out.
Gonna not press my luck here and start a part II.
P.S. I'm so happy the Yankees lost. Ha ha. Don't tell anyone. Also, just a thought: if Bernie Williams had been playing centerfield, he probably wouldn't have been fast enough to get to right and collide with Gary Sheffield, and Sheff might have caught that ball, and the Yankees might have won. Again, ha ha.
Feeling the White Sox's sleeveless pinstriped jerseys (with black shirts underneath). Also, I absolutely love the black Sox hat (does Dr. Dre get royalties?), but I absolutely hate the fact that it made damn near every other team adopt a black alternate uniform. Black Mets hats? Ugh. That said, given the popularity of black hats, is anyone out there rocking umpirehats? That would be gangsta.
Scooter the animated baseball sucks.
Why do all the Angels's helmets look like they spent too much time in a Betty Crocker E-Z Bake Oven? Stupid pine tar.
Baseball announcers have WAY too much time between pitches and hitters and the like to pontificate on anything and everything. An alternate audio track that just contained the real sounds of the stadium would be quite welcome. And why the heck are there three people in the booth anyway? How much analysis do we really need?
Fox Sports graphics are unspeakably awful. The sound effects are even worse. What ever happened to less is more?
Vladimir Guerrero's hair is rad, but I still don't believe he shattered the moon. And A-Rod shouldn't be allowed to be seen hitting in the post-season, even in commercials.
Paul Byrd looks a lot like Beecher from Oz when he was at his most ragged.
Not sure which is creepier, the Burger King or those heart-attack inducing breakfast sandwiches he's pushing. Mmmm, a thousand-calorie breakfast sandwich with almost all of it coming from pork fat. Where do I sign up?
The opposition is 28 for 30 in stolen bases against Jose Contreras? How is that even possible? Does he have a habit of catching the ball on its way back up the middle or something?
Chone Figgins is possibly the best name in professional sports. Top 10 for sure. The fact that he can basically play any position is a bonus.
Have I mentioned how bad the sound effects are? I know it would put someone out of work to lose them, but it would also make the telecast a lot more enjoyable. It's a baseball game, not Top Gun.
Correction: Paul Byrd looks like Beecher after he spent a month in solitary. No-hitter through 2, though. Woo-hoo!!
Running into the second baseman/shortstop to break up a double-play must be the most fun thing to do in baseball.
Garrett Anderson has a clean helmet? What's wrong with him?
I'd like to petition that the Knicks be herefore known as the Manhattan Knicks of New York.
Pete Coors is a creepy bastard. Also, how can a beer taste "cold"? Is that what he said?
Love when the stupid montage of jittery clips makes them miss the first pitch of an inning.
"Paul Byrd is like a crafty lefthander who's just right handed." Excuse me? What the hell does that mean? Actually, it means that his next pitch gets rocked out of the park by some mulleted White Sock. Maybe he SHOULD try throwing with his left. P.S. So much for the no-hitter.
Ever since that inane statement, Byrd is getting killed. Home run, hard drive straight to Anderson, base hit up the middle.
Wait, Tim Raines is the Sox first base coach? Awesome. Byrd gives up another rip. Jermaine Dye coming up. He might not last the inning at this rate. Too bad Bartolo Colon is already out for the series with strained fat.
OK, he lasted the inning. And thank God it's over, because the platitudes were getting dangerous.
Commercials during sporting events are so predictable it's nauseating. Not a male between 18 and 35? Sorry! By the end of this game I'll be praying for a tampon commercial. And I won't get it.
Apparently Lou Piniella is in charge of obviousness tonight. "When I look for catchers, I look for ones that win baseball games." Good theory, Lou. When I look for apples, I look for ones that aren't rotten and full of worms. We should hang out.
Coors, Applebees, State Farm, Land Rover, Midas, Citibank, "Prison Break." Put 'em all together and what do you got? A suburb I don't want to live in!
Someone really needs to point out that, hectic travel schedule or not, apparently Paul Byrd hasn't slept since October of '95.
Interviewing managers in mid-game is really, really stupid. The next time one says something insightful will be the first. And they cut away from the actual game to show this stuff?
Now batting, Carl Everett, who still doesn't believe in dinosaurs. And Tim McCarver just called the White Sox—the only team in the majors that ever wore SHORTS as part of their uniform—staid. Why, because they're white?
The Angels dugout jackets are really nice. Surprised they haven't mentioned where to get them yet.
"One of the secrets for Paul Byrd today is that he hasn't given up a walk yet"? What? Walks are a secret? And he's also given up a home run and a couple of smash hits (and two runs). All in all, walks would have been better, don't you think? Guys are making SERIOUS contact, here. And for the record, Carl Everett may not believe in dinosaurs, but he sort of runs like one.
"In fact, Yazstremski was one of the best hitters I ever saw in baseball." Don't mean to keep picking on you, Lou, but did you really need to add "in baseball"? We probably would have figured it out.
Gonna not press my luck here and start a part II.
Monday, October 10, 2005
It's Been A Long Time...
Wow, what'd I miss?
Three weeks this time? Has it been that long? (I didn't look at the previous post, but I think it was the Katrina one.) Sorry y'all. Um, assuming anyone's still checking this.
Just a few things right now off the top of my head.
Eddy Curry to the Knicks: Interesting. Plenty of upside in a 22-year-old legit seven-footer who actually wants to play like a center. Only thing is, didn't the Knicks already throw a lot of money at ANOTHER legit seven-footer (Jerome James) who plays like a center? Now they've got a matched pair of underachievers, both about to START long-term lucrative deals. I don't think I'd be looking for career years from either of them in '05-06.
Getting rid of Tim Thomas was long overdue, as he might be—per dollar, at least—the worst player in the League. But then again, he was coming off the books this year. And while Michael Sweetney was built like the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man, he had an uncanny knack for coming up with offensive rebounds, getting fouled, and making the free throws. And he was CHEAP, seeing that he was on the rookie scale for a while longer. Who knows, maybe Curry and Crawford will work out like the ex-Warriors in Washington, but somehow I doubt it. I just wholeheartedly hope that Eddy's heart problems are behind him.
The MLB playoffs: Not to sound like my man Phil Mushnick, but did a playoff game REALLY start at 11 p.m. Eastern? Really? Luckiy it wasn't the one that lasted 18 innings, or else it would have cut into Good Morning America. Also cool that the first round was almost exclusively on cable. Sorry, Red Sox fans. (Yes, most people have ESPN, but some of us wish we didn't.)
Interesting to see what happens tonight, because a White Sox/Angels ALCS oughta be about as good for the ratings as a Cardinals/Astros NLCS. It's all good to focus on promoting the big-market teams (or the ones with neat stories) until none of them make the playoffs. Hard to start hyping Angels/Astros now, huh? "Um, yeah, Lance Berkman! Vladimir Guerrero!" Riiight. At this point they have to be praying for the Yankees to survive and go on and face the 'Stros so Roger Clemens can bean Derek Jeter or A-Rod (oh please let that happen).
The NFL: Dude, it's week five and the summer weather just stopped like last week. I'm not ready for football yet. All I really know is a rookie named Cadillac was leading the League in rushing and the Jets dug up Vinnie Testaverde to QB for them again. What, did Joe Namath fail his Breathalyzer?
Gas prices: Look, I thought I understood how high $3 a gallon was. I haven't owned a car in almost 10 years now, but I've done my share of driving rentals on road trips. Filled a Ford Excursion in Portland, pushed Mitsubishi Eclipse drops in L.A. Definitely paid $2-plus per gallon, and lived to tell the tale. Well, last week I had to run out to Jersey for a story, and I rented a car (seeing that it would be cheaper than taking car services both ways). Well, I got to the Dollar on 22nd Street around 10 a.m. to find they only had minivans. Great. Going to suburbia (well, sort of) in a Chrysler Town & Country. All was well until I got back and stopped off to fill it up. Damned if that thing wasn't actually sucking on the nozzle. Ended up putting $18 of regular in it—I took it a little low, never again. I don't understand why anyone would drive in the city (or any other one, for that matter) and I also have NO idea how taxi drivers are making a living, seeing that they haven't raised their rates yet.
Sneakers: Weirdness. Ever since I lost the full-time SLAM gig, I've been out of the sneaker loop. Not getting stuff for free anymore—thank god, because I'm sort of overrun here—and, in fact, I've been trying to clear out space. Until recently. Artist collabs have been popular for a while, but lately three dropped that I HAD to have. First, Nike SB dropped two different pairs of Dunk SB Highs for the Melvins. Now this was just plain weird. The Melvins are in no way a popular band—in fact, their brand of noise/punk/whatever is just about as anti-mainstream as possible. I can barely even think of an equivalent, maybe SLAM doing a special issue on Ben Handlogten. The black pair, covered in art swiped from antiquated tombstones, didn't do much for me. But the white pair—canvas, with what looked like blood bubbling up from the soles—was impossible to leave. Not sure if they'll see the light of day until spring, but once they do, they'll be worn to death.
The other pairs are Vans—Bad Religion Sk8 Highs and Motörhead Rowleys. The Rowleys have pretty much been on my feet since I bought them, and the Sk8 Highs will also get plenty of burn this fall/winter. Guess that means further purging of the pairs here. Shameless plug, if you're in NYC, check out Flight Club, on Greene Street between 8th and Waverly. They're a consignment shop (with some stock from yours truly) that has the best selection of shoes in NYC. Sizes and prices vary, but you can always find gems.
Music: I kinda want to get the Biggie/Frank Sinatra blend CD from Fat Beats, is that bad? I stopped in Virgin this weekend, which is always a mistake, because I can never leave without buying a bunch of stuff. Picked up MF Doom live, the new Fiona Apple, the new Blackalicious, a previously unreleased Coltrane/Monk set, and a disc of Melvins demos (which I'm kind of scared of). Now today I read about another new Coltrane release (on Impulse!). Guess I'm gonna need to go back. Dammit.
Three weeks this time? Has it been that long? (I didn't look at the previous post, but I think it was the Katrina one.) Sorry y'all. Um, assuming anyone's still checking this.
Just a few things right now off the top of my head.
Eddy Curry to the Knicks: Interesting. Plenty of upside in a 22-year-old legit seven-footer who actually wants to play like a center. Only thing is, didn't the Knicks already throw a lot of money at ANOTHER legit seven-footer (Jerome James) who plays like a center? Now they've got a matched pair of underachievers, both about to START long-term lucrative deals. I don't think I'd be looking for career years from either of them in '05-06.
Getting rid of Tim Thomas was long overdue, as he might be—per dollar, at least—the worst player in the League. But then again, he was coming off the books this year. And while Michael Sweetney was built like the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man, he had an uncanny knack for coming up with offensive rebounds, getting fouled, and making the free throws. And he was CHEAP, seeing that he was on the rookie scale for a while longer. Who knows, maybe Curry and Crawford will work out like the ex-Warriors in Washington, but somehow I doubt it. I just wholeheartedly hope that Eddy's heart problems are behind him.
The MLB playoffs: Not to sound like my man Phil Mushnick, but did a playoff game REALLY start at 11 p.m. Eastern? Really? Luckiy it wasn't the one that lasted 18 innings, or else it would have cut into Good Morning America. Also cool that the first round was almost exclusively on cable. Sorry, Red Sox fans. (Yes, most people have ESPN, but some of us wish we didn't.)
Interesting to see what happens tonight, because a White Sox/Angels ALCS oughta be about as good for the ratings as a Cardinals/Astros NLCS. It's all good to focus on promoting the big-market teams (or the ones with neat stories) until none of them make the playoffs. Hard to start hyping Angels/Astros now, huh? "Um, yeah, Lance Berkman! Vladimir Guerrero!" Riiight. At this point they have to be praying for the Yankees to survive and go on and face the 'Stros so Roger Clemens can bean Derek Jeter or A-Rod (oh please let that happen).
The NFL: Dude, it's week five and the summer weather just stopped like last week. I'm not ready for football yet. All I really know is a rookie named Cadillac was leading the League in rushing and the Jets dug up Vinnie Testaverde to QB for them again. What, did Joe Namath fail his Breathalyzer?
Gas prices: Look, I thought I understood how high $3 a gallon was. I haven't owned a car in almost 10 years now, but I've done my share of driving rentals on road trips. Filled a Ford Excursion in Portland, pushed Mitsubishi Eclipse drops in L.A. Definitely paid $2-plus per gallon, and lived to tell the tale. Well, last week I had to run out to Jersey for a story, and I rented a car (seeing that it would be cheaper than taking car services both ways). Well, I got to the Dollar on 22nd Street around 10 a.m. to find they only had minivans. Great. Going to suburbia (well, sort of) in a Chrysler Town & Country. All was well until I got back and stopped off to fill it up. Damned if that thing wasn't actually sucking on the nozzle. Ended up putting $18 of regular in it—I took it a little low, never again. I don't understand why anyone would drive in the city (or any other one, for that matter) and I also have NO idea how taxi drivers are making a living, seeing that they haven't raised their rates yet.
Sneakers: Weirdness. Ever since I lost the full-time SLAM gig, I've been out of the sneaker loop. Not getting stuff for free anymore—thank god, because I'm sort of overrun here—and, in fact, I've been trying to clear out space. Until recently. Artist collabs have been popular for a while, but lately three dropped that I HAD to have. First, Nike SB dropped two different pairs of Dunk SB Highs for the Melvins. Now this was just plain weird. The Melvins are in no way a popular band—in fact, their brand of noise/punk/whatever is just about as anti-mainstream as possible. I can barely even think of an equivalent, maybe SLAM doing a special issue on Ben Handlogten. The black pair, covered in art swiped from antiquated tombstones, didn't do much for me. But the white pair—canvas, with what looked like blood bubbling up from the soles—was impossible to leave. Not sure if they'll see the light of day until spring, but once they do, they'll be worn to death.
The other pairs are Vans—Bad Religion Sk8 Highs and Motörhead Rowleys. The Rowleys have pretty much been on my feet since I bought them, and the Sk8 Highs will also get plenty of burn this fall/winter. Guess that means further purging of the pairs here. Shameless plug, if you're in NYC, check out Flight Club, on Greene Street between 8th and Waverly. They're a consignment shop (with some stock from yours truly) that has the best selection of shoes in NYC. Sizes and prices vary, but you can always find gems.
Music: I kinda want to get the Biggie/Frank Sinatra blend CD from Fat Beats, is that bad? I stopped in Virgin this weekend, which is always a mistake, because I can never leave without buying a bunch of stuff. Picked up MF Doom live, the new Fiona Apple, the new Blackalicious, a previously unreleased Coltrane/Monk set, and a disc of Melvins demos (which I'm kind of scared of). Now today I read about another new Coltrane release (on Impulse!). Guess I'm gonna need to go back. Dammit.
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