Friday, September 26, 2008

1. Josh Childress

Goodbye, NBA
The Greek isles are waiting
Restricted no more

Thursday, September 25, 2008

2. Stephon Marbury

Passion unbridled
Not always a good idea
What are you on, dude?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

3. Al Jefferson

Big man in Minny
A double-double a day
A beast on the blocks

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

4. Rasheed Wallace

Twenty-three foot nine
Your desired position
A true outsider

Monday, September 22, 2008

5. Dwight Howard

Hey, son of Jor-El
Shaq was Superman first, dude
You’re not quite there yet

Friday, September 19, 2008

6. Andris Biedrins

Fifty or sixty?
Your new guaranteed contract
Buys lots of hair gel

Thursday, September 18, 2008

7. Luol Deng

Small forward, big plans
The future isn’t waiting
Do something now, please

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

8. Baron Davis

Despite what they say
You are going home again
Oh yeah, Elton left

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

9. LeBron James

Billionaire athlete?
Too bad Tiger will be first
How much does Jay have?

Monday, September 15, 2008

10. Elton Brand

Opted to opt out
Philadelphia freedom
Sterling maneuver

Friday, September 12, 2008

11. Dwyane Wade

Fall down seven times
Miss the rest of the season
Maybe work on that

Thursday, September 11, 2008

12. Manu Ginobili

Tremendous passion
Undeniable talent
Floppiest flopper

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

13. Derrick Rose

You went number one
Chicago’s newest savior
Better not fuck up

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

14. Shawn Marion

Got out of Phoenix
Max contract, All-Star, winning
Who cares about that?

Monday, September 08, 2008


As one of my astute readers (or perhaps my one reader, who happens to be astute—Ryan doesn't count) pointed out, I posted my Caron Butler haiku twice, at 16 and 25. I suppose I could claim that Butler is so good that he deserves two spots on my definitive All-Haiku NBA Top 50 List™, but that would be a total lie. So I owe you, my faithful reader(s) a replacement poem. Which I shall write right NOW.

Here's the thing, though. I will not put a name with this haiku. It will be up to you, dear reader(s), to guess the subject. It will probably be either super-easy or completely impossible. First, though, I should refer to the list so I don't make the same mistake twice. Sigh.

Blocks and dunks? Simple.
The rest of the game, not yet.
Great expectations.

(I was actually thinking of two different guys when I wrote this, but it fits one better than the other. Not sure whether it's super-easy or completely impossible, although I expect the guy I wasn't really thinking of to be named before the guy I was really thinking of. If that makes any sense.)

15. Chris Paul

Best since Isiah?
Scorer who runs the offense
Scared of nobody

Friday, September 05, 2008

16. Caron Butler

Serving of Tough Juice
Ain’t never from concentrate
Fresh for you daily

Thursday, September 04, 2008

17. Darko Milicic

How many chances?
When does potential come true?
Possibly never

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

18. Greg Oden

Wise beyond his years
You have to wonder if he’s
As old as he looks

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

19. Kevin Garnett

Intense beyond words
Team defense and primal screams
Powerful message